“Get yourself a back brace” by Julia on her couch

Tuesday October 29, 2019
8:52pm
5 minutes
Me Talk Pretty One Day
David Sedaris

giddy up ponies, The Nationals have forced a game 7 in the world series. Martinez gets EJECTED from the game and he is pissed. Trea Turner manages to calm himself down, okay with the help of Cabrera, and then he’s okay, but Martinez needs to air more, needs to release it cause it’s poisoning him and it’s one bad call after another around here.
Get yourself what you need before tomorrow: a back brace, massage, heat therapy. I’m talking about you, I’m talking about Scherzer. This guy wants to pitch in his sleep and you can see it but not so sure about those neck spasms telling him, enough, please, enough.
Rendon is going to sleep like a baby tonight or not at all. That beauty hit, that perfect out, that double, those RBIs?

“shorten the contract” by Julia on her couch

Wednesday January 10, 2018
8:59pm
5 minutes
for your consideration
Laura Yan

Owlie is coming to visit and I got her an air matress from Winners. This is what adults do. Adults go to the store on a Wednesday or a Monday and buy produce. Adults invite their friend to sleep over but only if there is proper bedding. I haven’t seen Owlie since 2012 and I’m afraid she’ll ask me all the same questions. Where am I working? Did I ever find a family doctor? Do I still sleep with a bible underneath my pillow? A lot can change in six years. People can grow or stop gowing or get a promotion or lose their job. You won’t find any air mattresses in an unemployed adult’s home. Nobody would see one and expect their host to not be able to afford a nice one like this from Winners. Owlie has always been successful at anything she tries. She got a serving job once just by walking into a place and telling the owner she could see herself working there.