“So close to the end of my childbearing life” by Sasha on her couch

Tuesday September 3, 2019
7:32am
5 minutes
The Girl
Marie Howe

It was never a matter of if
it was only a matter of when
and the knock at the door started

months before we merged
magic and satisfaction
love and hope

the knock of your heart
on my heart

”let’s dance”
”it’s time”

Christmas time
three years ago
he told me he wanted
to have a baby together

He gave me a pacifier
and I behaved strangely

given that I’ve always known

It was the pacifier

Pacify
Placate
I don’t know
I was younger then
I didn’t know what I know now

I cried in the basement
of my parent’s house
the tree aglow two floors above

“Questions about living” by Julia in the oZu Theatre


Thursday September 18, 2014
12:49pm
5 minutes
a Word document

Oh those are the big ones and the best ones and the hard ones and the important ones. Those ones that keep you up at night… “When will my mind grow an extra pair of hands?” “When will my soul sprout wings and soar?” “When will true silence stop breaking my heart?” “When will the truth stop stirring my spirit?”
Those ones with the capital W and the agonizing honesty. Those ones with the empty lined paper begging to be filled. Those ones with the armour melting at the seams.

“The Psych Ward” by Julia at the Winnipeg Fringe Tent


Sunday, July 20, 2014
5:08pm
5 minutes
from a Winnipeg Fringe Festival Program


I didn’t say no. I didn’t say yes. But the whole time I knew. The answer was clear.
Where did you go? Why did you leave? You’re here now. I see you. I’m happy you’re back.
I didn’t say hello. I didn’t say goodbye. But the whole time I knew. The answer was clear.
What can I do? What can I say? I’m here now. I see you. I’m with you once again.
I didn’t say I’m sorry. I didn’t say I wasn’t. But the whole time I knew. The answer was clear.
Which way is up? Which way is down? You’re here now. You see me. We’re together for a while.
I didn’t say baby. I didn’t say friend. But the whole time I knew. The answer was clear.
When can you take me? Where can we hide? We’re here now. We see it. We’re a we like we were.
I didn’t say stay. I didn’t say go. But the whole time I knew. The answer was clear.
Where did you go? Why did you leave? You’re here now. I see you. I’m happy. You’re back.
I didn’t say please. I didn’t say thank you. But the whole time I knew. The answer was clear.
We’re not through, yet, are we? We’re not just July? I’m here now. You see me. With you once again.

“During the spring” by Julia on her couch


Tuesday, January 1, 2013
9:28pm
5 minutes
the 2012 Ontario Parks Guide

Ahh when the new breeze flows, when the air is fresh and white, when the yesterday’s tears take flight.
That’s when.
That’s when the new nose knows, when the day is longer than night, when the yesterday’s fears are slight.
We dream, like the humming bird collecting around a flower bush. We hold our tongues and curse less.
We hold each other’s hands and hurt less.
We hold each other’s hearts and LEARN more. More and more and more and more.
Ahh! When the giant escape presents itself to the wind. It’s lovely at this time of year.
During spring.
During the newness of it all and of it none. How wonderful to live in the time when grass is green and water is abundant.
When the new ideas show, when the sky is pure and light, when the yesterday’s jeers are not our plight.
THAT’S WHEN.
That’s when the new bodies pose, when the hope is whole and bright, when the yesterday’s sheers cut the lines off right.
That’s when.
Ahh, that’s when.
When spring grows. We will be new and good again.
That’s when.