“Llttle wallet multicolour has zip” by Julia in Kettle Valley

Saturday June 29, 2019
7:01am
5 minutes
from and old text from my dad

I look for this bag and you are Ocean far telling me there’s something in it for me
I look for this bag
What bag
I took this bag Out
I took another
I put the bag Away
I shelved the other
There is nothing new and you are Ocean away telling me
You are telling me it’s there and did I find it?
I am worried it’s money
I know it’s money and I’m worried because you snuck it in there
Where?
Where did you sneak it?
It, still a surprise
In the Bag, you say
Front Pocket
It’s been days and do I always take out my things and put them away without looking?
Wouldn’t it catch my eye?
Tell me where to find it again, I say
Ocean away, you say
Llttle wallet multicolour has zip
Little wallet
Must be money
I have no multicolour wallet but
You call it a wallet because I
had some money in there
Just in there
Because I do that
If you had looked in my book
you might have put it there too

“it was stolen from me a few weeks ago” by Julia at her desk

Wednesday June 12, 2019
11:10am
5 minutes
From a Craigslist Post

I go to the principal’s office
it’s a couple weeks after I noticed
I didn’t mean to wait so long
but I had other things going on
I am the president of my
student council, and I am not
thinking about having a fellow
student arrested

The Vice Principal already hates me
even though the only thing I’ve done
is express myself out loud by
rolling my eyes when she speaks
She says the same shit over and over
again so I do not feel bad when my
adviser advises that I keep my
opinions to myself during meetings
that pertain to the well-being of
the student body

She is mad that I did not report
my missing wallet as “stolen”
even after I tell her I did not
think it was stolen
I thought I lost it, or it fell
out of my bag, I did not think
that another student in my drama
class would have thought to take
it from me while we were busy
playing Zip Zap Zop

She then tells me he’s sick
He’s sick in the brain and
in the body and he’s in the hospital
right now so is pressing charges
going to really help this guy
and the only thing I want back
are the photo booth pictures of
me and my best friends at the mall
and for the little notes I kept
that he thought he would throw into the
sewer since he wasn’t able to spend them

“I thought you had it” by Julia on the 99


Monday July 3, 2017
4:49pm
5 minutes
overheard on the 99

Kelsey can’t find her wallet for the third time today and the next person who walks through the door is going to hear about it. Loudly.
She’s late, as usual, and thinking of Type A Andrea who always tsk tsks tardiness as if she has zero human flaws. Maybe it’s not easy for everyone to be on time, Andrea. Maybe some of us are burying a deceased bunny rabbit or deciding to floss for the first time in a year!
Andrea never says anything to Kelsey but her disapproval is as present as that fucking mole next to her nose. Kelsey can tell when she’s misplacing things: money, keys, glasses, blame, when she starts digging at her own friends.Your mole is adorable, Andrea, everybody fucking knows that.

“I will go to the river” by Sasha on her couch


Sunday September 13, 2015
2:31pm
5 minutes
Jewish Fairy Tale Feasts
Tales retold by Jane Yolen


You will walk in the streets of your childhood, a stranger, and this will change how you think about yourself and where you orient the compass of home. You will have your wallet stolen out of your back pocket by a small boy in a red sweatshirt. You will regret having thought that he was cute and that he looked hungry. You will scour the guest room in your aunt and uncle’s house for this wallet, with all of your ID, with the photo-booth picture of you and JJ, with the coffee shop card where you’re two stamps away from a free latte. You will remember the boy, how close he came to you, and how you hadn’t purchased anything since then. You will think about how you thought he was

“Confronted issues of racism, identity and social tension” by Sasha on the 16


Sunday February 8, 2015
4:12pm
5 minutes
http://www.ago.net/basquiat

How to forget about yourself – A step-by-step guide
1. Don’t smile at yourself in the mirror. In fact, cover all your mirrors with newspaper.
2. Drink lots of water. No juice. No Limonata.
3. Tell your friends to refer to you as the colour of your eyes. I would be “Blue”. You would be “Brown”.
4. Race has nothing to do with it. (Just this once).
5. If you feel one of the following feelings, run yourself a bath, submerge your ears and sing Frère Jacques.
A. Sadness
B. Grief
C. Lust
D. Fear
E. Hunger
F. Ambition
G. Love
H. Fatigue
6. Leave your wallet on the bus.
7. Don’t cancel your credit cards.
8. Go to sleep.
9. Eat mostly canned foods.
10. Tell your lover a secret you’ve never told anyone but yourself.
11. Face them while you do it.
12. I know it seems counter-intuitive to forgetting yourself, but trust me on this one.

“Paying too much” by Julia at Sambuca Grill

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Thursday, January 10, 2013 at Sambuca Grill
4:44pm
5 minutes
Acanac-Inc. ad

But Sherry was a mess, so she couldn’t have seen into herself long enough to notice that she was wearing two mismatched shoes and had left the entire contents of her wallet on the fireplace mantle. Not the wallet, that she brought. But why she emptied it, please don’t ask. It was a big kerfuffle and Sherry wasn’t used to being this big of a mess. Her fireplace mantle has a lot of weird things on it, but we won’t get into that here.
She noticed first that she had absolutely zero money or plastic when she was simply trying to buy a taco cupcake. You don’t need to know what that is to know that you would want one. Sherry wanted one, and was half way consuming the beautiful mouth-treat (because she couldn’t wait), when she figured it out. She thought about her options: either a quick dine and dash, feign starting her period and promise to come back right away after she plugged up the hole, or let the waterworks begin. She (stupidly) ended up doing all three, in no particular order, and because, like I mentioned, she was a mess, and just opened her mouth and tear ducts and things started rolling around in the air. The man behind the counter was legitimately afraid for his life.