“the sum total of the courage and the integrity” by Julia at the studio

Tuesday, June 19, 2018
5 minutes
10:37am
A quote by Eleanor Roosevelt

We can walk into the mouth of our lover with gratitude
and compassion or wake up on the wrong side of the bed
with a vengeance that travels in heat, and ready.
I remember this when I am late to the day after a long
night of bad decisions and I am too ashamed to greet you
in your half way done morning, specific goals set, etc.
I come out with a new tail tucked between my legs and you
stop your structure and stretch out your arms to me,
welcoming, grateful. You say how lucky you are and you
say it with skin and smile before words leave your lips.
I remember this when you are late to the day and I am
awake before you and running and weaving and juicing
and you come to me with the same openness but my first
instinct is to keep running, make you catch up, make
you feel bad. We can walk into the mouth of our lover
with gratitude and patience if we remember how important
time spent gazing at each other really is. We can choose
this in the morning, at night, and in the afternoon. You
do this and you teach me. I thank whoever is in charge
that you do not dole out grades to match the student.

“That’s what I was thinking” by Julia at her desk


Monday June 19, 2017
12:35am
5 minutes
overheard on West Broadway

Some days add up to zero
the hole of the afternoon
the cave of mid morning
post-its have been scribbled on
and posted but the glue is wrong
and everything flutters to
the ground eventually

Tomorrow’s list has been started
wake up is the hard thing
every other item can be done
if there is enough time

Some days add up to something o’clock
and not enough sleep
too many hours spent wondering how
to believe in scotch tape
and purple marker
instead of the looming possibility
of avoiding it all

“before you begin” by Sasha on the 99 going East


Thursday, June 18, 2015
6:02pm
5 minutes
livestrong.com

before the sun rose you lifted your cup to your lips
you drank
you stood from your bed and prayed for strength
for tea
for warm enough socks
you were out of the house before the phone call that would change a lot
not everything
but a lot
you were on the highway
speeding towards the light
your cellphone
forgotten on the kitchen counter beside the cereal bowl
muesli
you’d switched from the sugary stuff after ron got diabetes
your phobia of needles stronger than your desire for sweet

“I dare say you should have” by Julia at her kitchen table


Sunday, September 8, 2013
8:43pm
5 minutes
Chicken Soup for the Golfer’s Soul
Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Jeff Aubrey, Mark & Chrissy Donnelly


I’m not your dream girl, so wake up! That’s what she used to say to me. Wake up! Whenever I would say something stupid or ask a hypothetical question. Wake up! Oh, wake up! That would never happen. And then she’d saunter off into the bedroom and apply copious amounts of shea butter to her knee caps and just mutter to herself over and over again. I’d like to believe that I wasn’t always day-dreaming the way she assumed me to be. I saw her glow around her face, her smile, and I wasn’t dreaming at all. I was trying to take her in, the realness of her, and the realness of my lucky situation to be loved by someone so beautiful. Sher never liked it when I held her up, on what she thought was a pedestal. She didn’t like being up so high; afraid of heights; afraid of falling to her death. It wasn’t that high. But I couldn’t explain that to her even if I tried. I’d tell her I wanted to get married in Hawaii and she’d say that same thing to me again: Oh, wake up! It’s too expensive! Trouble is, she wasn’t dreaming big enough. She’d act like something was impossible without even fully considering it.