“an overdose, the fire hall repainted red.” By Julia at her desk

Monday August 5, 2019
5:59pm
5 minutes
Orography
Alison Braid

It’s never as bad as it feels in the brain
Until the day that it is worse
And expectations of forever look like this:
Swollen eyes and spine shriveled
Everything pointing toward the floor
Oh Lord, is there anything lower?
The clock ticking bruises
The warning signs begin to dart around
as if they had been there the whole time
As if it were you alone responsible for the knowing
I do not give you anything that sounds like blame
You did not deserve this
You did not miss the signal

I have wanted to take back what I said because
I am angry now more than ever for you and I don’t
know how to be that when you might not need that
But it’s true and it is constant and
I want to go to battle for you
I am ready
I will bring my tiny-hearted arrows and I will
launch them at whatever target you give order to hit
I will hit each one because I have spent my life
practicing my aim and my arm is steady
You do not need to walk this alone even in the
moments after you think you have asked for too much

When the Phoenix rises from the ashes she takes
all of her sisters with her and forms a flock
of fire born sky-dwellers who can see as far
as this world may reach

“there’s nothing to switch on” by Sasha on the 99 going East


Thursday January 22, 2015
5:19pm
5 minutes
enRoute magazine
January 2015


I’m glad that you’re living your life, Bets, but there are some of us that don’t have the privilege of touring around the the God damn world for two years! Some of us have to W-O-R-K! I know you’re pretty into being radical and telling us stories about when you stole, or ate three pizzas in one day or when you had a threesome in Venice… But, like… Do you think we actually care? I’m going to spin class and giving tired blow jobs to Ken and trying to forget about the fact that this is just the beginning of a VERY LONG WINTER. I’m really happy for you that your Instagram feed is more important than your dignity. Good for friggen you. I’m not jealous. I have no desire to abandon every single person I love for a two years of a selfish “me” party. Gag me! Gag me, Bets!

“the triangle of pleasure” by Sasha at her kitchen table


Tuesday October 21, 2014
10:12pm
5 minutes
Massimo’s welcome speech

Ladies. Thank you for joining me. Show of hands, how many of you had to found childcare in order to be here today? Wow. Wow. That’s at least three quarters of you! Show of hands, how many of you had to travel for over an hour to be here today? YES! Wow. Yes… Wonderful. Thank you. Show of hands, how many of you have been to a workshop of mine before? Incredible! We are about half and half. Newbies and vetrans! How exciting! Okay. I’d like you to turn to the woman beside you and introduce yourself. Wait, not quite yet! I need to finish giving the instructions! Eager beavers! Okay, so tell her your name, where you’re from and one thing that brings you great pleasure. We’re here to manifest more pleasure in our lives. Let’s start with what we have. We have so much, even when we feel like we don’t. Tell you sister beside you something that brings you pleasure in your life. Okay… You have six minutes!

“you’re obliged to keep living” by Sasha at Early Bird Espresso and Brew Bar


Thursday April 23, 2014 at Early Bird Espresso and Brew Bar
11:21am
5 minutes
Locked In To Life
Mark Brazaitis


There’s a funny contract we all signed
The day we were born
(Not funny “ha ha”
but the other kind)
We’re obliged to keep living
Having a sister like Colette
Having a sister who is sick
Having a sister who has tried to kill herself
Too many times to count
Makes me think about this
Obligation
She came to me and asked if I would help her
“I don’t want to be here”
She said
The longing in the shaking of her lower lip
The smell of her desire
Fresh
for once
I paused and said
“I’ll have to think about this, Colette”
She didn’t like that answer
She slammed the door on her way out
I got an e-mail from her later that read
“Dear Suzanne,
Thank you for having me for tuna melts today
It made me angry that you wouldn’t help me
But I get it
I get that I’m asking a lot of you
I’ve always asked a lot of you
I love you
Let’s go to the Island the May long weekend”
I thought
“I wonder if you’ll still be here then?”
May is a long way away
Twenty whole days