“I am not a waitress” by Sasha at her coffee table

Saturday December 8, 2018
12:21pm
5 minutes
A Common Trap
Caitlin Thomson

I am not a waitress. I now have a job where I marry several of my skills, make the money I deserve, and have a cushy benefits package. It’s weird writing that. It still doesn’t totally feel real. I was a waitress for over a decade, and, to be honest, mostly I liked it. The rush of a good service, the camaraderie, the jokes, the sweet satisfaction of finding the right balance for each table in my section of quirk and charm, attention and space. The late nights, though… And the boozing culture. And the folks’ who would treat me like I was their servant. I remember a co-worker at a fancy beer restaurant in the financial district talking about these suits and ties who would come in and treat him like trash and meanwhile he’s smirking on the inside that he makes more than them annually, but just so happens to do it delivering mussels and swiping credit cards.

“Now that I’m free from any such shackles” By Sasha at her kitchen table


Monday March 6, 2017
10:37pm
5 minutes
davidsilverberg.ca

saved by the ivory
tower but not for long
good god i hope i don’t
have to
saved from the beer
spills and “our house wine
is a dollar an ounce”
from roll-ups and tip-outs
and “can we have more
bread?”
i’ll tell you what
the magic word is
it’s please

the summer i was
twenty one i worked
at a place where
the bartenders were
always high and the
sous chef called me a
stuck up bitch
and i cried in the
basement and ate shrimp
in the stairwell
and everyone seemed to
be fucking each other

then there was the
sous who would request
my presence in the kitchen
only to undo my apron
so that i’d have to bend
over and pick it up

then there was the
sous (is there a theme
here holy hell) who
would stick out his
chest when i’d come
to ask a question like
those are just my breasts
it’s how they are i
am not sticking anything
out or up except my
middle finger at your
ignorance

“I am not sure at all” by Sasha in her garden


Thursday July 10, 2014
8:34pm
5 minutes
from a quote by Erica Jong

You think you’re so cool with your street art and your tattoos and your ironic name. “Joan”. Your parents didn’t know that you were going to get that haircut, okay. They didn’t. When you were a baby they probably thought that “Joan” was a sophisticated, pant-suit kinda name. They definitely didn’t think about the fact that, twenty three years in the future, you were going to take MDMA like calcium, and forget the difference between “high” and “low”. I’m sorry, I know I’m being aggressive, but… I’m so fucking angry at you! You come in and you say, “Americano,” but I know what you really mean is, “I’m better than you.” And, you are. Or, your art is. How street art can be in a gallery, earning you sixty G’s a year is really beyond me, but… So are a lot of things. Joan. Next time, say “please” or “thank you” or chuck a quarter in the tip jar. Please. Thanks. Oh, and my name is Andy. Like, Warhol.