“You could get lost there.” by Julia at the studio

Tuesday April 17, 2017
1:11pm
Up
Margaret Atwood

There are no signs and so they warn you before you arrive
to keep your hands inside the vehicle just in case something
falls out of the sky
you could take a photo of the sun setting
get it framed and keep it on a shelf or take the
picture with your eyes instead and lock it
for a lifetime in yourself and then there are all the moments
in between that might read like the spine of your dreams where
you got lost in the waiting so deep and when you surfaced
you had no idea which direction south was which direction you were
facing and how to force those next steps taken
toward the hill
that might lead you to the top of it all where you’ll be able to
see the vastness of it all and then after the work is done
collect those eye blinks one by one storing each in a perfect
corner of your mind for those lonely days where the glow is
harder to find

“Very rarely patients develop __________.” by Julia on the 20

Wednesday April 11, 2018
8:49pm
5 minutes
Diagnosis
Adam Sol

You’re online again because that’s where the answers are. That’s where you’re allowed to be sick. Because the forums are full of people like you looking for inches to turn into miles. Itches to turn into conditions and you’re convinced you’ve been cut by the hidden incision bit by the bug that borrows its fangs into your skin and then buries its offspring underneath it. You’re sick and you know it. The rash you developed shows it, the hard lump in your throat chose itself and you tell the world you did not make this up. Where all the people like you play, looking to lose at another game, maybe this way you will have something to blame for the wrong going on in your life. The invisible pains, come and go strains, the ones that buy you sympathy and community and attention.

“drove up to the prison” by Julia at her desk


Wednesday August 30, 2017
11:39pm
5 minutes
This American Life episode 282

can’t stop a freight train
on its way
it knows where it’s going
it goes
and goes
it doesn’t think to break to take
in the scenery
it doesn’t put off gettting to
its destination because there is
something easier to do
nothing is better than arriving
when all you’ve done is travel

can’t stop a freight train
on its way
it carries the load it was meant to
doesn’t complain about the weather
the speed of the tracks
doesn’t beg for something to make it
more fun
doesn’t whine about needing snacks
it definitely doesn’t light the Palo Santo
over and over again until it believes
it doesn’t call its mother on the
phone to ask for directions
it knows where it’s going
it goes

“He presses a button” by Julia at her desk


Tuesday August 29, 2017
9:27pm
5 minutes
from VO sides

i watch him from the corner of my eye
he is sly
a man on a mission to push all of my buttons
coming for me like a dart
flying through the air, straight for wherever he aims
did i mention he has great aim?
taught to throw a baseball at the age of three
and now the target is me
i can’t avoid it, it’s the end,
i’m nothing but a machine
when he wants laughter he strikes the soft above my knee
says something unexpected in that charming sort of way
if he wants to knock me over
he hits below
buckle and shake until i make peace with the ground
i am onto him
looking for any kind of reaction
reaching out and teasing with a smirk
hovering right above my button
i am defenseless
yet feeling tension
will he won’t he
no sir yes sir

“Let’s discover our” by Julia on the 7


Saturday May 7, 2016
7:39pm
5 minutes
from a chef magazine

Let’s discover our soft spots
Our unwants
Our don’t touches
Our yes love this
Let’s discover our truth’s truth
Our hard lost youth
Our who’s who
Tell me about your day dreams
I’ll tell you about my nightmares
Tell me about your battle wounds
I’ll tell you about my big scares
Your scars
My empty jars
Your hopes
My nopes
Your yeses
My catch this
Let’s discover the good and the bad
The moments we never had
The memories that make us sad
The language that holds us together

“Secret Sundays” by Sasha on her couch


Thursday January 28, 2016
11:55pm
5 minutes
A Mission Kitsilano business card

It’s a secret that on the Sundays the salsa dancing starts
It’s a secret that with that comes horses and carts
It’s a secret that everyone whose no one is there
It’s a secret that those that don’t know just can’t care

It’s a secret til somebody says something out loud
And the secret’s no longer dressed in a shroud
It’s a secret to someone else tells all of Tulsa
It’s a secret that on Sundays we will dance the salsa

“Thin love ain’t” by Julia at her desk


Monday, October 12, 2015
1:43pm
5 minutes
from a quote by Toni Morrison

Thin love ain’t worth the pain
Not worth the heartache
Not worth the shame
Thin love ain’t worth it
Thin love ain’t…

This is the remix to the song I’ve already sung
Do you hear me better now?
Half-assed lazy forget about each other shit
Sleep in the same bed, wake up in different moods
Do you hear me better now?
We each put a duke in and you pick your own
We were rigged to suit you better
Are you listening to me now?
We were wired up with the hardware that you recognize
I’ve said it all before
I’ve danced to the same tune filled with synonyms and a rhythm that tricks me into thinking it’s poetic.
And it’s not.
It’s not poetry at all.

“that’s a dumb simile” by Julia at Souzan’s apartment


Thursday, September 3, 2015
11:32pm
5 minutes
overheard on the street

compare her to the sky and she’ll melt before your eyes
with a softness in her curl
a smile unbeknownst to her

Draw her like the sea and she’ll grow until she’s free
with a calmness in her song
wisdom there all along

Dance her like the sun and she’ll be your warmest one
with a lightness in her face
shining in the world’s embrace

Love her like the night and she’ll always hold you tight
with a mystery in her touch
radiant gold-speckled hush

“Then the chicken to fry” by Sasha in Pearson International Airport


Saturday, August 15, 2015
6:37pm
5 minutes
Women Work
Maya Angelou


I got a case of the Mondays.
I got a case of the Bad Days.
I got a case of Corona and a spliff from five years ago.
I got a real bad dog show.
I got chicken to fry.
I gotta undo a lie.
I got an itch that can’t be scratched.
I got a case of the Mondays, baby.
I got a case of the Sad Days.
I got a case of old photos.
I got a broken motor.

“Attackers might be trying to steal” by Julia on her patio


Thursday, July 2, 2015
4:40 pm
5 minutes
from a notice from Google

They rock you from outside your cage
They spit
They leer
They laugh
They drink your blood in a furious rage
They hit
They jeer
They scoff

Run run run
Run run run
Run run run

Run

They steal your words from right off the page
They stab
They fight
They will
They tear your flesh on a live stage
They break
They take
They kill

Run run run
Run run run
Run run run

Run

“Our backyard garden plot” by Julia on her bed


Saturday, June 27, 2015
1:31am
5 minutes
From the back of a photo from Sarah

You and I
We found a spot
Built our home
And a backyard garden plot
We paid the rent
We made our space
Went to bed early
Slept face to face
You and I
We found happiness
Said our I love yous
Made our promises
We created a board
To pin up all our dreams
We envisioned our lives
Crafting behind the scenes
You and I
We stayed strong
Fought sometimes
Took turns being wrong
We remembered ourselves
When we were young
Our heads filled with hopes
Our home filled with love

“I got you I won’t let go” by Julia at Bicerin Espresso Bar


Monday, June 1, 2015
3:13pm
5 minutes
I got You Babe
Sonny and Cher


I held my hand out for you to hold
You said you’d Get Back To Me
That was not the answer I wanted
That was not the thing I expected

I held out my hand for you to grab
You said No Thanks, Baby, I’m Good Right Now
That was not the response I should have gotten
That was not the moment I wanted

But maybe your hand is not ready
And maybe you need to be alone
And maybe you’re lying to me
And maybe you’re lying to yourself

I dreamed up the perfect day
You said Honey I Don’t Have Time
That was not my ideal holiday
That was not the gentlest way

I dreamed up the best idea
You said Don’t Wait Up For Me
That made me feel insecure
That made me feel unsure

But maybe it wasn’t personal
And maybe you were just being blunt
And maybe your heart is still healing
And maybe you don’t know what you want

“If you don’t come with me,” by Sasha on the deck in Horseshoe Bay


Saturday May 16, 2015
5:13pm
5 minutes
Behind Sad Eyes
Marc Shapiro


Take me back to Memphis where the sky is blue
Take me back to Nashville where the music is new
Take me back to Jerusalem
Take me back to New York
Take me back to Copenhagen
Take me back to County Cork
Take me back to Marrakech where the food’s so good
Take me back to Jasper if we pretty please could
Take me back to Helsinki
Take me back to Saskatoon
Take me back to Kingston
Take me back to Paris for a macaroon

“Each person comes into this world” by Julia on the 501 heading east


Saturday January 31, 2015
4:37pm
5 minutes
from a quote by Osho

And boom boom can we get the drums a banging
cause the moon moon has all these people clanging
We
Join
Life
From the wombs wombs meeting memories in this world
to the tombs tombs where our bones lay stripped and curled
We
Leave
Strife
And boom boom we celebrate the hearts a thudding
with the moon moon keeping far the doors that need shutting

“Paper Resistance” by Julia at her desk


Friday November 28, 2014
3:01am
5 minutes
from Internazionale 14/20 Novembre 2014 edition

It’s itchy so I’m scratching
Got that pill addiction happening
Wish it wasn’t wish I didn’t
But then there’s that paper resistance
I keep trying to replace it but the fact remains it’s aces
It wants me like I want it
And so it goes tat for tit
Game changer when it stops the feed
The hunger grows
The need for greed
And I keep singing to myself
calming the notion that my answers are on a shelf
Somewhere stuck the bottle shakes
I hear it moan my whole earth quakes
I’m somewhere stuck without the drug
But the magic makes me glug glug glug
Hop to it one more instance
15 down and I’m still with this
Wishing hard for a bell to ring
Saved by the moment someone else will bring
Alone in the hope that is called denial
Cross-legged on the cold hard floor and pray to the bottle for a little while

“That’s very interesting” by Julia on her couch


Monday, July 21, 2014
11:18pm
5 minutes
Overheard at ideal coffee


She was a mad hatter
her feelings didn’t matter
she was a mad a mad a
and when she danced
the world was romanced
but she didn’t believe it yet
her feelings didn’t matter
she was a mad hatter
a mad, a mad was, a mad was
He always did stray
When she looked the other way
His mask a good looking one
And they would talk
But not have much to say
their costume a convincing one
She was a batter
her feelings didn’t matter
she was a bat a bat a
And when she sang
The whole world came
but she didn’t know how to believe it yet
He always did lie
It was his alibi:
He really just enjoyed telling it.

“Anytime. Anywhere. Anything” by Julia on the subway going east


Friday May 16, 2014
8:20pm
5 minutes
from the side of a van

I’ve got you
Under my skin
I don’t know but somehow
I let you in
And if you went
A little deeper
You would see what
I was keeping there
I can’t hide
Not anymore
The wound is peeled
And you can see to my core
And if you stayed a little longer
You would taste
what I was feeling there

The lights are on
and I’m exposed like a secret
The world is quiet and that’s
The way I try to keep it
Ask me no questions
I’ll tell you great lies
The answers are twisted
The avoidance of whys
And an actor is born
Out of flesh and
Of pain
And we all struggle
To bear the truth we witness
Without placing the blame
In safety
And in vulnerability
I tell you this
I tell you


I’ve got you
Under my skin
I don’t know but somehow
I let you in
And if you went
A little deeper
You would see what
I was keeping there

“Safety pocket” by Julia on the 506 going west


Wednesday March 5, 2014
10:33pm
5 minutes
the box of matches

She’s got that safety pocket that ooh will she or won’t she take off and rocket that if she does how far will she go to Jupiter and back to the very last row to the end of her dreams to the start of her screams to the depths of the water back to the barrel that shot her she’s got to she ought to stay back or she’ll rot you and then she can fly birdie high in the sky kissing every try and dying to die she’s got that safety stuff that guess what she’s doing and is it enough that party go hardy that coarse and the rough that mixture that tincture that pass pass puff puff

“QUEEN BARGAIN MART” by Julia on the subway going south


Thursday January 9, 2014
11:45am
5 minutes
from the store by the same name on queen west

She was the queen of the bargains she got everything for a deal then she sold it bartered for it and got it all back for free she was tired but she was wired to get the best possible kinds so she’d wake up in the morning and all the flyers she did find with her scissors cutting coupons and her highlighter making marks she would have the best darn shopping spree that would impress all the sharks she had competition neighborly and friendly at times but she wasn’t going to sacrifice all of her gold mines so she wore masks of black and crept around real slow daring not to draw attention to her price checks in the know she appeared at every garage sale getting more than what she should as her old lady ways were charming and she seemed nothing but good I’m just looking for a pass time to get me through the days see my husband he loved great deals but he has passed away then she’d take her things on home and would look at all her stuff selling antiques to the highest bidder when the economy was rough.

“glimpse of you” by Julia on her bed


Wednesday, January 1, 2014
3:40am
5 minutes
The New School for Drama brochure

There you were, all a glimmer, all a shimmer in my mind
I had kept you there, a prisoner, well beyond your time
Where you slept among my ideas, and you danced across my thoughts
You seemed very happy there
I saw a glimpse of you in my patient words and I knew I needed you to stay
You were making me better with each new and passing day
I didn’t want to ask you out of fear you might say no
Instead I packed your bags for you and refused to tell you where you were going
You didn’t put up a fight, I suppose out of trust in me
You agreed almost perfectly, with a proven loyalty
I warned you with my body language that you might at times want to leave
But that if you stuck it out, it might be worth the seconds or years it takes to fix me

“modern doughnuts” by Julia on the 506 going east


Saturday December 21, 2013
5:22pm
5 minutes
From the Jelly doughnut store sign on College

And you could be better than me
cause you have seen the beast in me
and when I am alone I know that it’s right
for me to try to give you over, give you up tonight
My sacrifice for this good world, is setting you free as a bird
to fly with anyone who loves you as much as you love me
I’m scared of keeping you on the ground
I see it cinematically
with your life’s movie credits scrolling by
and the role I play is the Girl Who Ruined You
I am saddened by it all without the shame of admitting it, and it’s something
I don’t admit at all
to any one just cause they’re listening
you should be better than me
do better than me I swear
Life’s too short to hope for someone to give you what you always deserved
you earned all the good things
and I’m not a good thing
unless you’re blinded too….
I wouldn’t want to take, every single chance away from you
So take from me this gift of flight
this opportunity grand
and when you say hello to the night
you’ll know I would follow you there
But you’ll just have a head start
And maybe someone who brings you modern doughnuts from the little shop
down the street for no reason

“we are responsible” by Julia at Lit on College


Monday, October 28, 2013 at Lit Espresso Bar
5:10pm
5 minutes
“Real life and other tall stories”
The Wednesday Review


For calling our mothers
for teaching our brothers
for truthing to others
for admitting our druthers

for waiting in lines
for talking in rhymes
for singing in time
for drinking with limes

for laughing at jokes
for helping out folks
for ignoring pokes
for avoiding mean blokes

for calling our mothers
for calling our mothers
for calling our mothers
for calling our mothers

for cuddling the wee ones
for including the shunned ones
for smiling at the sad ones
for hoping for the worst ones

for asking good asks
for doing good tasks
for not wearing masks
for stocking the flasks

for reading books
for cautionary looks
for challenging crooks
for cleaning the nooks

for calling our mothers
for calling our mothers
for calling our mothers
for calling our mothers

“this is how it sometimes is at God’s table” by Julia at the Fringe Creation Lab


Sunday October 20, 2013 at the these five minutes: writer’s workout at the Fringe Creation Lab
1:27pm
5 minutes
The Essential Rumi
Ed. Coleman Barks


This is how it sometimes is,
you either love it or hate it, they call it Show Biz
With a hand on your hip you pose,
you say yes to every man when he proposes
“Marry me!” you shout and you let it all out
cause someone nearby is watching the lie,
and you are an actress with clout
But who do you perform for?
The God you named is a sleeping bore
he watches with his belly full
and packed from stuffing in more and more
his long beard white is braided into a promise–
he tells the angels to tape you so he won’t ever miss
the subtleties of you on your knees
and begging for an audience
that finally appeases you
Oh and his table filled with chicken and gin,
he tunes in to review your sins and you
put them in a jar marked ART-
say the people who watch you have you stuck in their hearts

“Over the decades” by Julia on her bed


Wednesday, June 26, 2013
1:40am
5 minutes
Wineaccess magazine

Over the decades and far away sat a little impish girl and boy did she play
Not boy and girl because girl and boy, but boy as in boy! Or ships ahoy!
Can the truest sentiment be? A hundred red apples with thousands of seeds. Will it keep the doctor away? One might ask, then you’d say: it’s only if you eat but one every day! Dr. Seuss you were born out of a loved joint stick, passed and pushed around a circle till you all got sick, sat down right then with your paper and pen or quill if you will since it happened back then, and wrote about the things you would pick! It’s okay to be different it’s okay to be you! You wrote all of those things because you were high too! And in your confidence you created all those inspirational quotes, unhated. Not one fresh faced grad, never had not deferred, from choosing your wit for their congratulatory word.

“This guy will change your mind” by Julia on her couch


Wednesday, June 19, 2013
11:21pm
5 minutes
The front of the Globe and Mail Life & Arts Section
Wednesday, June 19th, 2013


Yeah, yeah, he’s got the goods, come in from the cold, step out of the woods, this guy, he’s the one, and he knows what to do, he’s got goods for me, he’s got goods for you. Yeah, yeah, he’s got the plan, he’ll turn you from a wandering eye into a wandering man, he can etch a sketch of your face, he can make you disappear, he’s the bartender, says you can’t stay here.
Yeah, yeah, he’s the mastermind, the one who calls the shots, do you drink them, that’s the problem, he’ll drown your throat till your gut rots. He can keep the press at bay, he knows exactly what to say, little lies and little promises go such a long way. Yeah, yeah, he’s got the goods, be what you are, no such thing as shoulds. He’s the one who’ll take your virginity in any situation, got the answers, got the skill set, he’ll school you in meditation. Who is this rare species, is he even real? That’s the jury, that’s the audience, that’s everyone’s spiel. He’s the guy who will help you, he’ll make you better still, he’ll change your mind without you, and without him there is no will.

“Original” by Julia at her desk


Saturday, April 13, 2013
3:45am
5 minutes
Mary’s Cracker box

She’s one of a kind
she’s got sex on her mind
she’ll beat and bruise you till you cry
she’s anything but nice
Saw your picture in a magazine and knew what she would do
didn’t wait for very long for her to go and find you
She was hoping you’d be just as submissive as your smile
But she wasn’t taking chances so she’d stalk you for a while

Original those girls who are almost criminal
She wanted to make your life hell
She wanted to bite like an animal

She was on the hunt with a mint leaf in her mouth
knew the fine line between fun and all that stuff she reads about
wanted to drown all her dreams in the tub for a midnight race and a down town rub

“The most powerful thing you can do” by Julia at London Hotel & Suites


Friday March 8, 2013 at London Hotel & Suites
6:49pm
5 minutes
Creative Visualization
Shakti Gawain


Change your clothes, change your mind, leave no children, leave no one behind. If you have a great idea, let’s hear it, let’s try. If you can’t answer your own questions then stop asking why.
We’ve been gathered here by a man on a mountain, preaching all kinds of truths, flowing free, Trevi fountain.
He’s been telling us which leg to put into our pants first, he has motions for the future, so many he could burst.
We all say YES. We all say yes please, then he fills our tiny heads with a thousand buzzing bees. Let them do the work inside, let them change the thinking tide, if it’s not work you like, then the rest of your life is night. Want to fly? High high high. There are no answers in the sky. Check the ocean, he swears all the cures are there. That’s his second notion; the third and fourth already prepared.
Change your clothes, change your mind, take no children, leave no one behind.
Rally all the troupes and get ready to go to battle, with a hundred hoola hoops, and all huddled just like cattle.
We all want what he tells us to want. We all need what we think we should need. A little girl in pigtails reminds us of our differences indeed.
Small and innocent. And free.