“Though I had quit drinking” by Julia at her desk

Wednesday November 13, 2019
4:22pm
5 minutes
Free Rent at the Totalitarian Hotel
Poe Ballantine

I was still having dreams about putting the pine into my veins
even after I saw what the stuff could do to me
If I were ever strong before, it was the thing that brought me to my knees
And old boyfriends to their knees with what happened the night before
did we really break up and was it true, this bout of insanity?
Nobody asked if it was the birth control, but it was the birth control
mixed with whatever I was swigging before leaving the house
Memories weren’t the only thing I was leaving on the floor
And if I’d come home a blur with missed calls it wasn’t on the tip of my tongue
to blame the gin
I couldn’t see the lines connected, the outer or inner, the shapes stopped
making sense all together
And then my warning came in the weight of a small healing cat
sitting on my legs while the woman examined my history of traumas and blacking out
She called it an allergy
and it was then I realized my body had been begging.

“**NEW CLIENT TO DAZZLE!**” by Julia on her couch

Friday March 8, 2019 6:11pm 5 minutes From Nannies On Call Hello fuck you very much, I have a lot to tell you actually, I quit, for one, second, full disclosure, going to bad mouth you guys on the internet. I don’t care about your clients. I think a place that is bad for the people who work there is going to breed something far worse for the clients than what I say. What I want to say is I don’t know how I’ve put up with it for so long. Kind of a stay-too-long-at-all-the-wrong-parties kind of gal. I know I could have left sooner, but, full disclosure, I needed the job and if I valued myself even a smidgen more I wouldn’t be as complicit. I really want to talk about your no emergencies rule. How the fuck are you sleeping at night? Three misses and you’re out even with a doctor’s note? FUCKS.

“my Swahili instructor” by Julia on her couch

Wednesday January 23, 2019
8:16pm
5 minutes
Archipelagoes
Rochelle Smith

You can learn a new language at any age. You can learn one in your 20s, in your 30s, up till the day you speak no more. It’s not one of those things on the list that become impossible after celebrating a certain birthday. It won’t be easy, but it won’t be impossible. Some things on the list that become impossible after a certain age are the following: doing the splits if you are not a gymnast, birthing a baby, moving a couch, and pulling all-nighters. I purposefully did not include exact ages because every body is different and there are exceptions to even vaguely set rules.
I know for a fact it is never too late to quit smoking, or cut out certain issue-causing foods, or take up growing pot in your backyard. There is no limit to how much you can surprise yourself in this life— no matter how many stories you make up and believe.