“cinnamon, cardamom and ginger” by Julia on her couch

Monday, November 26, 2018
8:44pm
5 minutes
A recipe for apple muffins

I haven’t baked anything in a long time
I’m more of an improvise, throw things together on the stove top than follow directions and use chemistry kind of person.
I do not like someone else telling me how to make something and yet I have been desperate for someone else to weigh in on my life and tell me what’s right and what I should do.
I don’t like rules and I don’t like protocol and I don’t like social courtesies. I want freedom at the cost of the Room’s comfort. Which room, any room, this room. I want to be the mess and the reward. I want to push boundaries instead of being afraid of them.
Some people call this impolite. I am very impolite. A test I took in the summer told me that. I was in the 4th percentile. 4 our of 100 people in a room would be more impolite than me. It could be a good thing. Maybe sometimes you wish you were loud and forward and rude. Maybe it could help you get a few things done.

“the old ones” by Julia at Sambuca Grill


Thursday December 5, 2013 at Sambuca Grill
10:01pm
5 minutes
a Smirnoff ad on the streetcar

She left them by the side of the road. Said she didn’t need them any more at all. Said she never needed them to begin with but was trying to be nice. No more politeness, she was thinking, or saying. She couldn’t tell which thoughts were internal or external. She hoped, for her sake, that everything was external. She was making a point to live out loud anyway. Her back arched against the white wicker chair and she yawned with her tongue out like a lion. If anyone asked, she thought, I’ll say I was robbed. She shook her head furiously. There is no need for lying now. Anything she did could be justified with a flippant “so what?”. She was training her mind to let herself go. It was harder than she thought. She was 6 or 7 New Year’s resolutions into the same attempt. She had been holding tightly to the remnants of her former self. It was hard to say goodbye to her when she looked so good in skinny jeans.