“I do and I don’t” by Julia on the 250


Sunday May 8, 2016
3:59pm
5 minutes
overheard on the 2 bus

By the time I have to decide whether I’ll go and visit Tracey in the hospital, I’ll probably know if Tracey is even still there. Last time I heard from Tanya that Tracey was fighting with her tubes and didn’t want anything “touching her blood”. I told Tanya I would come and relieve her but I didn’t end up going because I am actively avoiding the hospital. Tanya told me not to come if I don’t want to be there but Tina thinks I’m not pulling my weight. She says if I’m not going to come relieve them I should at least give 24 hours notice. Tanya had someone just in case I decided not to so everything was fine and Tina doesn’t scare me. Tina calls me everyday and so I make sure it goes to voicemail. She likes to give all the gory details like “Tracey only has a few good days left” and “you better show up for her” or “Tracey vomited in her sleep because her intubation wasn’t done right”.

“original packaging” by Sasha at her kitchen table


Saturday, April 25, 2015
10:14pm
5 minutes
From a receipt from The North Face

There were three reasons why Anna didn’t want to go to the doctor.
One – Doctors never bring good news. Why would anyone want to go to a place where it’s a given that there will be bad news? Isn’t that the sign that there’s something wrong with you? If you seek out bad news?
Two – Her sister had died on the table of a walk-in clinic three falls ago. No explanation. Just dead. She had been there to get some answers about a rash on her stomach. Anna had vowed to stay away from all “clinics” from thereon in.
Three – When she used to go to the doctor it made her sweat in places she didn’t even knew existed – inside her ears; her fingertips; underneath her toenails. “Is that sweat?” she’d asked her boyfriend at the time. He’d scoffed and made fun of her.