“Calls of guilty thrown at me” by Julia at her desk

Monday November 27, 2017
9:24pm
5 minutes
Cherry Wine
Hozier

If it weren’t for the husk of corn left in the sink
the distinct sting between us: barbed wire, fenceless,
I wouled have decided to stay.
Instead I left and gave you the buzzing shell
still hot from the guilt of not saying goodbye.
You didn’t know the absence well enough.
You knew the actor, she was brilliant.
On nights like Tuesday and 6pm
the space hung in the kitchen is never
big enough for the both of us.
On nights like these you mmm
too easily at the kiss of me.
You always start speaking right
in the middle
of my hand trying to write you.

“COLD PRESS BRIGHT” by Sasha in the Kiva

Sunday October 1, 2017
11:32pm
5 minutes
from the EPSON box

I will cold press your brightness like orange juice
We’ll drink it together like moon shine
The Milky Way will guide the walk to the jungle
Where we’ll dance naked with parrots and palms

I will kiss every inch of your hurting
Where you didn’t get enough or got too much
I will love every place where you’re burning
And slow your heart with a lullaby like this

I will give you the goodness that you need now
I will waterfall into the unknowings
I will write poems after hours of loving
And chart futures on the bed sheet tangle

“The waters here” by Julia at 49th Paralell


Thursday August 10, 2017
2:56pm
5 minutes
The Lonely Planet Bali and Lombok

I scooped up the sea in my hand and drank at the thought of you.
“I wish you were here” might be carved into my belly.
Yesterday, the croon of the waves kissed my shoulder blade the way you used to. It’s nice to be touched by your memory when you are far away. I gave my salt right back to the source. We laughed a little at the impermanence of things that never belonged to us in the first place. our dreams, on loan from the sky and the breeze and the gentle hereafter.

“if indoors, stay indoors” by Julia at her desk


Monday June 26, 2017
10:56pm
5 minutes
from the Central 1 credit union emergency response plan

The man in the green hat was shouting loudly on his cell-phone as he jogged his small dog around the pool and back and back and back.
We watched as he panted into somebody’s ear and didn’t know who to feel more sorry for. Dog included.
I looked at Lexi and knew I would not always love her. I smiled and tugged her shirt at the v.
We stayed there for a while, counting times he reached to yank up his boxer shorts poking through with his phoned hand.
When we walked home I intentionally stepped on the back of her foot and made her yelp.
I kissed her sorry, so sorry, so so sorry.

“I miss you.” By Julia on Lindsay’s couch


Thursday February 16, 2017
10:23pm
5 minutes
From a text

In the tenth grade I had a crush on a boy who was tall and almost perfect looking. He played the guitar. He was smart. He loved his family. I was already drafting up wedding invitations. But during the summer there was another boy. He had curly hair and made me laugh. He also played the guitar but he was the biggest asshole I’d ever met. I liked him a little but he liked me more. We spent a night together on the couch in my friend’s parent’s basement. He talked me into making out even when I told him I was scared I’d be bad at it. It was not my first kiss but it might as well have been. He stuck his tongue so far down my throat I could have sworn he licked my stomach lining. My face was gooey from the slobber he left behind. He asked me if I liked it. I didn’t want to tell him the truth because of how proud of himself he was. Instead I told him I didn’t know since I had nothing else to compare it to. I wished it wasn’t him.

“two complimentary movie passes” by Julia at her dining table


Thursday September 29, 2016
7:44am
5 minutes
cycleto.ca

I come home with a smile on my face and I kiss you on the mouth
You say you missed me
You say this day is better now that I’m back
You ask how the conference was
You ask if I got any swag
I bounce around my tote bag (swag) and pull out the pens (swag) and post-it pad (swag)
You are impressed and I am impressed with my ability to stock up on office supplies
I would otherwise refuse to purchase
Then I reach in and pull out two tickets
You ask me what they are and try to pull them out of my hand
I snatch them away and tell you These Are Not For You!
You try to get a closer look at them and I keep them at arm’s reach
You scowl and cross your arms when you see what they are
You Won Movie Tickets?
I smile again, being coy for some reason
Maybe I Did
Awesome Which Movie Are We Seeing?
I put them back in my bag
These Are Not For You

“I keep thinking about the night we spent in Rome” by Julia at her dining table


Friday August 26, 2016
6:50am
5 minutes
Super Sad True Love Story
Gary Shteyngart

I remember it like it was five minutes ago. You didn’t even want to go but I told you it was something to see. You were worried about not getting a good picture and I said Trust Me It Will Be Even Better. We stopped for pizza first and that put you in a better mood. It was thin crust and saucy and probably the best we’d ever had. You said it was too salty but you were just in a funk and I tried to wait it out. When we made it to the Colosseum, your face lit up like I knew it would. It’s Beautiful, you said, and you looked up starry eyed. There’s a peacefulness at night. Fewer people, but always someone. You wanted to get mad about the men selling the neon light sticks and the sound makers that shot way up in the air, changing colour on the way down, and making children go crazy with bright love but you couldn’t. You were very pleased even if you didn’t say it every ten seconds. I wanted to dip you low and kiss you under the night sky, our happy place in Rome.

“every minute” by Sasha at the table in Mississauga


Sunday, July 24, 2016
11:03am
5 minutes
From a birthday card

You sing Jann Arden at karaoke like it really matters, like important people are watching. This speaks to something in you that’s superior to most people. You aren’t afraid to belt:

Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive
Insensitive
Insensitive


You sit down next to me, after you’ve wrapped up and some bro in a pink tank top is trying to sing the Beastie Boys, and you’ve got tears in your eyes. I grab your face and kiss your nose. You are surprised, but you like it, and you tell me so.

“Are you gonna sing something?” You ask, swigging soda water.

“Yeah,” I say, “I absolutely am.”

“behind your kiss” by Julia at Starbucks


Wednesday July 6, 2016 at Starbucks
7:05am
5 minutes
When I touch you; Peter Ilyanov
Diana Brebner


Behind your kiss I can feel
the thing you’re trying desperately
not to ask me.
Did you do it?
Would you do it?
Do you still love me?
Am I enough for you now
that you’re bigger
than you used to be?
Don’t ask don’t tell;
maybe something I taught you,
maybe something you taught me.
But your lips leak your secret,
parting the seas
every open close pucker and smack.
Each breath
you take
parts the seas for the truth
to spill
out
into
my
mouth,
drowning me,
or begging me to swim.
I watch you sometimes
from behind my eyes,
searching for meaning
and a reason.
Do I need to answer everything
for you?
Have you never looked
inside yourself
for something you need?
Will you ever be enough
for you?
Your tongue licks and flicks
all the possibilities of honesty
to the roof
of
my
mouth.
Behind your kiss,
there is a flood coming.
Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies;
maybe something you taught me,
maybe something I taught you.

“Shhh…..” by Julia at her desk


Saturday December 5, 2015
11:49pm
5 minutes
Overheard at Kits Beach

I clutch the truth to my chest like a secret that is not meant for anyone to see but me.
It stings a bit, this truth. If I hold it too tight it starts to burn through my skin.
I don’t tell you because it might burn you too.
I can’t let that happen. I promised I would protect your heart. I promised I wouldn’t let even one bad thing get close.
You beg me for my truth. You try to sneak it away from me when I’m not thinking clearly. You bet you can take it from me to peak at its face in the place between asleep and awake. The place where I call out sometimes and tell stories in the dark.
You think it’s sweet that I grip it so tight. You laugh when I roar at you to back away. You call me your lion and you plant a kiss on the skin closest to my lips:close enough for me catch it…or close enough to bite.

“that time of innocence” by Julia on her couch


Tuesday November 24, 2015
11:22pm
5 minutes
from a poem by bell hooks

It was a very knobby knees sort of pick your nose behind a book kind of pants too baggy in all the wrong places kind of time. Garrett was in love with me and asked me to be his girlfriend at least three times a day.They were very long days sort of strategic routes taken home from school to avoid certain people kind of too shy to say why kind of time. When I told him no the first time I think I was even cruel about it. I didn’t know yet that just because a boy was of no interest to me it didn’t mean he didn’t just use up all his courage trying to be. It was a very young kids playing in the cornfield sort of kiss behind the church before getting called into supper kind of late nights laying on the floor with candles lit listening to Bon Jovi kind of time.

“Kiss me quick dear” by Julia at her desk


Saturday, July 4, 2015
10:35am
5 minutes
From the back of a postcard

Kiss me quick dear
before this feeling disappears dear
before the urge to have you is gone before the magic of this spell is worn
kiss me quick dear
before someone else comes in dear
before we’re caught in the heat of the moment
before we’re made to feel aware
kiss me quick dear
before the lilacs bloom dear
before the lilacs die before the lilacs are picked
kiss me quick dear
before the water boils over dear
before stillness turns into something we can’t turn back

“Start a group play team” by Julia at her parents’ kitchen table


Saturday January 17, 2015
11:32am
5 minutes
from a lotto 649 ticket

We’ve got a good team
We fight the bad guys and we cuddle a lot
We make jokes about the mean ones and we tap forks before we eat
We make sure no negativity gets in and we play catch in the park outside our house
We build barriers so no harm can enter and we kiss like two puzzle pieces that were meant to complete the other
We don’t leave the bedroom cause it’s safer inside and we double dip our honey hands into the bag of liquorish chews
We’ve got a good team
We laugh and we live and we squeeze and we breathe
We do it together and no one can stop us
We do it together cause we know winning is really only happiness and happiness is winning

“friends to build your community” by Julia on Laura’s ottoman


Monday December 22, 2014
1:45am
5 minutes
from grooveshark.com


Like a kiss to build a dream on…
Said it best, didn’t he? Armstrong on the radio. Watch the sun burst–Burst? Yes, burst through the trees, sort of sweet force and…And? Excitement! Like a Sunday orange! Ahh the citric explosion. Burst, yes. Burst. And the dream? Which? To be built on a kiss? Armstrong? Yes, Armstrong. The dream was about the sun and the kiss was about the future. Oh. Yes, it really works, doesn’t it? I see it now, of course I do. It was enough in that moment to entice the whole movement. Dancing on clouds and pick pocketing tiny stars from the pretty night sky.

“initiates sexuality” by Julia on Katie’s couch


Friday December 19, 2014
1:47am
5 minutes
Can Love Last?
Stephen A. Mitchell


Heat in the garage
Said meet me there said wait for me there
Crept inside knowing it would be dark
Said join me there said find me there
Cold cold heat
Cold heat cold
A note in the garage
Said ready for me here said ready for me here
A light touch grazing my arm
Said I want you here said I need you here
Silk robe hitting the pavement
Said I crave you here said I take you here
A hot kiss on my mouth
Said I eat you here said I drink you here

“And I have been in Heaven” By Julia at Piccolo & Sumblime


Tuesday October 14,2014 at Piccolo & Sublime
5:16pm
5 minutes
from a quote from Isaac Asimov

I have been to a place of permanent happiness.
I’ve seen the sun rise and fall while wearing a tutu and performing for the world; a perfect dance, to which no applause follows.
I’ve laughed until my ribs ached, till my belly quaked, till my eyes were blurry, and my face wet.
I’ve kissed a pair of incomparable lips that I want to share with everybody just so I can say I did something good for this sorry world.
I’ve tasted the sea and the earth after a night of their hot and sweaty love-making.
I’ve licked the ocean off my lips and hummed a tune under the water until my heart and the pulse of the waves traded places.
I’ve danced body on body while my youth stayed up late–just so it could pretend that nothing else in this life even mattered.

“I know it’s scary but” by Sasha at 49th Parallel on Main St.


Friday October 3, 2014 at 49th Parallel
4:41pm
5 minutes
from a text message from Jess

I’m more interested in
organ keys than deep bass
brown rice than the colour orange
maps than keys
I’m more about
here than later
down than up
breaststroke than butterfly
I’m all the
leather and feathers
diamonds and dust
mountains and quartz crystals
I’m making
magic and lullabies
quinoa and pencil shavings
bullets of beauty and porridge with a kiss
I’m growing
crow feathers and fern patterns
grammatical tongue tickles and boots like moss
cactus of ambition and dreams like the milky way

“Courier Mail and Daily Telegraph” by Julia in her bed


Friday Aug 8, 2014
2:05am
5 minutes
http://www.taste.com

I had been waiting for Gina’s response for over three weeks. It was her idea to keep sending lovely hand-written letters to each other once a week but she was getting really bad at it. Her first letters were so open and raw and I could see her mouthing the words as I read them because they just felt so honest. Then they started getting shorter, she’d stop responding to my questions in a way that reminded me of unrequited love by means of questionless text messages. She started signing all her letters with a lipstick kiss, something I always hated having to return due to the inadequate, small, pursed shape my kiss marks made (not the luscious kind you think is the only kind that creates a desirable or kissable mouth when you’re young). By this point Gina was signing her letters with a modest “G” and that was it. Surely she was busy or distracted, or had found a new friend to spend all her time writing quirky opinions to. But what bothered me most was the waiting for her response. I was busy too, or so I liked to believe, and I was always able to write to her.

“mostly tiny sungrazing comets” by Julia on her couch


Wednesday, July 16, 2014
11:46pm
5 minutes
from the Sun Wikipedia page


And we lay there in the grass, picking bushels of it out of the earth to sniff them, or to play them like flutes in the middle of the night. We waited for the sun to pop up again. We were waiting on its predictable rotation. The way we wait for a mother’s call, a friend’s best wishes when we’re near the death of someone close. We wait in the stillness gazing up at the sky, wishing for the night to retire gracefully to its bed so we could watch the warming of the sky take over. And we lay there in the grass, picking moments to kiss each others’ hands and necks and lips. We played those moments over and over again in our heads, recognizing the opportune times to touch one another not out of obligation but out of necessity. The orange was peeking up from beneath a distant hill as we wished.

“Four letter challenge!” by Julia on her couch


Sunday June 29, 2014
6:00pm
5 minutes
undergroundpoetry.com

Woah. We’ve seen some wild, real stuff. We’re fine here– Sima left. Let’s make sure that this news sees only ours. Eyes. Don’t talk bout this. We’re lots even when we’re done. We’ve sold Sima some love, told ears “fear ours”. Team Crow eats your face. Talk like we’re dead. Mean what your mind says. Very much more than this will come. We’ll draw, then kill. we’ll seal this deal with lips made from silk.

“not liable for any consequential damages” by Sasha at her desk


Wednesday June 25, 2014
4:47pm
5 minutes
the Canon Camera User Guide

When Sally and I were small, we’d forget to brush our teeth after eating popsicles and wake up with fuzzies. “Sweaters”, she’d call them. “Patty’s wearing sweaters on his teeth!” She’d say.

When Sally and I were small, we’d go on hikes in the woods behind Grandpa’s cabin (our parents would dump us there for ten days in August while they went camping in Algonquin Park). We’d get lost and Sally would have to use the compass clipped to her belt loop to find our way back.

When Sally and I were small, she would kiss me on the lips, counting to ten in her head, opening them ever so slightly. She would pull away and say, “Did you feel anything?”

When Sally and I were small we would open Mom’s mail before she got home from work and try to understand the bills, the curly handwriting of Aunty Odessa.

“you want to be chosen” by Julia on her bed


Tuesday June 3, 2014
1:01am
5 minutes
This American Life podcast

You want me to open up a store and sell candles. You tell me this in your half sleep as you kick up the duvet from under you. It’s like you’re mad at me for making us sleep with a cover at all even though the summer hasn’t fully started yet and it still gets really chilly at night.
I ask you what kind of store and you say one that welcomes bulls. I think you mean china shop but your reference is a little muddled in your groggy mind. You tell me, you’ve got to start selling those candles! And I ask you, which candles? And you say, with a cute laugh, the ones you make! As if it were the best idea you’ve ever expressed. I tell you I don’t make candles and you turn over and grunt into the sheets, probably because you resent those too and you’d sleep on the bare earth if I hadn’t bound you to all these societal norms like I have.
I can’t help in that moment to lean over to you and kiss your head.
Sell those too, you say in a whisper.

“Even if she is feeling like the scum of the earth” by Julia at her kitchen table


Monday June 2, 2014
11:38pm
5 minutes
an Instagram photo

She told me herself she didn’t feel like herself when the rain fell and when her stomach fell
I heard her say it with a faint ringing in my ear
I heard her say it cause I saw her there in the mirror
She was alone and cold and a full-blown ally to the dark side, to the wrong side
She was something that I could only dream about
Or wish for
She told me herself she didn’t feel much like singing when the sun was out
She would be there, crouched in the mud, trying to taste her mistakes
Trying to make a waterfall from her eyes’ outpouring
The earth is a wet and cold place
I heard her say it with a faint longing in my bones
I heard her say it cause I was stuck there inside her ribcage when her heart started screaming
Take me away
Take me so far away from this
And the sky would open with her desperate kiss
And she would lay there holding on to the only thing she knew

“Baby you’re much too fast” by Julia on her couch


Wednesday February 26, 2014
12:09am
5 minutes
Little Red Corvette
Prince


I called you up, I said Vroom Vroom baby
you told me I was out of my mind
I casually laughed then told you I was taking you out tonight
You shrieked a bit and then you were hooked
Where are we going?
And then I said it again, Vroom Vroom baby
You leave that part to me
You had on your jean jacket and you twirled in front of the mirror
Listening to Madonna or Tina
I had the keys and all I had to do was get to you
On my way over I remembered how you liked to bite my bottom lip when you kissed me
I thought about how if I close my eyes and lean into you, I always find your mouth
Or yours always finds mine
I felt cool with the hood down and the midnight air whispering through me
You were just a couple minutes away
And I couldn’t get to you fast enough
I almost ditched my ride on the side of the road
Just to run to you and make the wait disappear.
And then my song came on
Our song
The one you liked to sing in the shower

“you crave” by Julia on her couch


Wednesday February 12, 2014
11:01pm
5 minutes
the bag of ketchup chips

You crave to be in the middle
in the spotlight
in the memory of many
in the hearts of many more
you crave to be in the centre
in the moonlight
in the laughs of many
in the arms of many more
you get what you want, that’s a fact
you ask the universe if it does complimentary gift wrapping
you want to untie the bow on all your presents from the anniversary party
of your dreams and reality meeting at the park and kissing on the mouth
you get what you want, that’s a fact
you crave to be in the photographs
in the perfect moments
in the history in the making
you crave to be in the love letters
in the words of many
in the nightside table drawers of many more
you crave it all
and you get it all
you’ve charmed the world with your wit and your generosity
and you knew that was all you ever really wanted

“Last Goodbye” by Julia at Ossington station


Wednesday December 18, 2013
6:27pm
5 minutes
from the Charles Bradley record

I told him with my eyes and my gentle kiss, blown into the wind so it would follow him home. He heard nothing was expected of him. People can’t hear eye love or wind kisses. It was stupid of me to think he would. When he didn’t turn around, it ruined me for a while. Long enough to break, find the prices, and put them back together again. They were a little jagged and a little mismatched like a puzzle put together by an impatient person, or a cheater. Someone who cuts the edges so they fit the way they “should”. I examined them in the brief moment of loneliness I was in and I decided then and there to give away my poems to the homeless and my romanticism to the food bank. Surely they would need them more than I did. Surely someone in their lives would have a place for misguided ideals and hopes beyond reasonable doubt.

“dropped the iron” by Sasha at her desk


Sunday December 1, 2013
7:18pm
5 minutes
Justine’s Birthday
Jean Sheppard


Got home and for once in my life Addie wasn’t on the phone yakking til her gums bleeds. It was the quietest the house had been since I had those kidlins. Ned musta been at the garage, workin on that load a Chevys that came in from Buffalo or Detroit or wherever. Decide that imma make a big pot of hot choco for the kidlins. An me. For me before them whenevers they get home from school on dat bus. Put on the pot of choco and got to the stack a laundry to fold and the laundry to iron an the laundry to put away. Think about when Jeff MacCormack kissed me under the swings. Don’t even hear the key in the lock an the kidlins come in all screamin an hungry an askin when’s dinner. I dropped dat iron and yelled like da day Addie was borned. Made a big ol ugly mark on the carpet, dat nice shag.

“working relationships” by Julia at Belly Acres


Monday, September 2, 2013
5:44pm
5 minutes
The Playwright At Work
Rosemarie Tichler and Barry Jay Kaplan


I told you already that I was not seeing him in that way. I saw him at his desk and he looked like he needed help with his contract and getting acquainted with the new space and all the secret rooms and whatever. I obviously took it upon myself to….guide…him…because I’m a nice person with a civil obligation to offer my services to a fellow co-worker. So. whatever, I bought him a coffee and I told him he had a great smile, then he asked what I was doing later and I told him I had a business meeting and he asked if he could buy me lunch and I said, sure, as long as it’s a business lunch, and he agreed, and so we ate to together and he didn’t try to kiss me nor did he pull away when I kissed him, but as you can tell, I was simply welcoming him to our company with….European gusto! So. I was not interested in him romantically, at the time, and I must be excused from these accusations because I wasn’t…and now I am…and those are two separate things! Very different! Then and Now, Now and Then. A movie! Ha! See, people discuss the differences between the two all the time! They do! Otherwise they would call it Now/Then. Now Slash Then. See? One or the other, not one and the other.
I rest my case.

“COLORED EMOTIONS” by Sasha on her couch


Monday, August 19, 2013
10:22pm
5 minutes
Night Moves record

I see the emotions
Before they arrive
I see the water break
Liquid yellow
Oozing magenta
Blue red green and fuchsia
Swirling like gasoline in water
Like food colouring in cream cheese icing
Moving like rainbows on the waterfall
Then they come
The things that allude us
The ones that shake fists
And curl toes
The flush of the cheek of your lover
In love
I want to kiss your anger
Right on the lips
Slipping tongue into rage into azure blue
I want to paint your sadness
With my paintbrush
My elbow
Smearing all the colours
Making the very best brown I can

“I can’t wait to meet you” by Sasha at R Squared


Tuesday June 4, 2013 at R Squared
5:32pm
5 minutes
From a Target billboard on College

I can’t wait to meet you, on Mars, with a good watch on my wrist and a tummy full of honey roasted cashews.
I can’t wait to meet you, at the dock, by the pier where we jumped, with a heart full of Dolly Parton and my veins pulsing youth.
I can’t wait to meet you, with a picnic, with a basket, and a bottle of red wine, with a wedge of brie and a jar of lactose pills.
I can’t wait to meet you, to trace your eyebrows, to kiss your eyelids, to stand on my tip-toes, and press my tongue to your third-eye, like you enjoyed once, like I’ve wanted to do ever since.
I can’t wait to meet you, the photo that I know so well, you won’t be wearing track pants, you won’t smell of cigarettes, you will have well-kept fingernails.
I can’t wait to meet you, at the busstop, turning down my iPod so that I can listen to you talking on your phone – “I’m running late,” you say, “I’m sorry,” you say, “I’ll be there by ten to eleven.”
I can’t wait to meet you because I’ve been waiting for this moment since I doodled the name I thought you might have on the leg of my jeans, since I a picture of what I thought you might look like in a Rolling Stone Magazine at the lake.

“I shook and then I licked” by Julia at her desk


Tuesday May 14, 2013
12:32am
5 minutes
Coffee Courage
Mark. R. Slaughter


I waited by the water for your truth to reach me. I told myself I wasn’t leaving until I found you there in some form or another; in the stars if nowhere else.
I wanted you to fight me on it all the last time I saw you. I wanted you to tell me I was wrong and to hurry up already with the tuna melts I was taking my sweet time in bringing to you.
It’s been a long time now. I’m not sure if you want to come back home or if you even notice how blurry the sky looks lately.
I thought if I shook off the night that you left and sort of held my head high, things would be fine.
Reverse psychology really works on me, did you know that? I told myself not to think of you and my brain just laughed at my gull.
Here’s the address of where we first kissed in case you forgot it. Or in case you want to keep it, maybe laminate it, and show it to our grandkids if you ever decide that we’re the thing you want to perfect.
If not, then at least I’ll know I tried everything I could think of to get you to want to be here on your own.
Your answer lingered in the air and hung on a couple clouds or so…taunting me with potential rain, or a big storm.
I closed my eyes so I could hear it better.

“The only time” by Julia on the subway going west


Tuesday February 5, 2013
11:00pm
5 minutes
The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss

Here’s everything that I’m thinking right now: I’m alone, I’m happy, I’m stubborn, I’m sticky, I’m pmsing hardcore, and I really really miss the way your stubble feels on my forehead. Is that okay with you? That you get to leave and I get to deal with you being gone every single day. I’m happy right now. In this moment. I’m not happy that you left me, or overall that I’m alone. Those two things go together in list format not in realistic emotions and reasons format. I hope you like the new woman you’re with and I hope she never screams out someone else’s name. I said I was sorry about that okay? It wasn’t on purpose and it wasn’t personal. I hope you know that if you had done that to me I would have laughed about it eventually. The only time I’m not sorry about is when I shook your shoulders and made you kiss me even when you said I was the last person on the face of the earth you wanted to kiss. Now obviously that was a good thing because you were lying to yourself when you said that, and it was the best goddamn kiss of your life.

“Every week.” by Julia at her kitchen table


Thursday, November 22, 2012
10:11pm
5 minutes
NOW magazine box

Your beard is getting long again and though I like the way it looks, I hate the way you use it as an excuse not to kiss me. Every week I tell you, just trim it now so it’s not such an endeavour later. Every week I tell you that. And it’s not that you don’t kiss me, you do, but they’re those cute kisses that last for about 2 seconds. You probably kiss your sister longer. So. It’s a bit off-putting, I guess, for a lack of a better word, that you don’t shave and then we don’t kiss, and then when we do you say it bothers you or it’s too itchy. SO SHAVE. Why is it such a foreign concept to you? I shave. I shave my legs, and my underarms. Not every week, no. EVERY DAY. I wash, I scrub, I shave, and I do it so that no matter what you will look at me and say, damn girl you sexy, or damn girl you’re really taking care, or just, damn girl, and then you smile or something. See I just need a bit of verbal affirmation. You. You need to be moved to do something. To have a job interview or a special family function. Not my family functions. Oh God no. That would involve kissing all my relatives wouldn’t it? And that would go ahead and irritate your freaking bearded face, wouldn’t it? And that would just, for no other reason except for it being inconvenient to you, bother you.
I’m mad.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed.