“he finally asked me if I wanted these defects of character removed” by Julia on Bec’s Second City Chair


Saturday July 8, 2017
12:53am
5 minutes
Alcoholics Anonymous

He was already cutting parts of his own face off when he asked me.
Wanted to know if he should schedule me in.
What do you want to get rid of? What skin crease have you never liked. Which part of you wasn’t enough?
I saw him through the reflection and he looked focused. He was extracting from the root.
I later told him, over a salty coffee
(his sweet)
that I didn’t want to
give them up I said I wanted to wear them like reminders of all those times when,
hold out my hands and thank
the fucking universe that they look like my mother’s.

I held out the sparkling water for him to sip.
He had deserved it.

“picked and consumed” by Julia on her couch


Sunday November 29, 2015
9:31pm
5 minutes
From the Wikipedia article on jalapeños

I love you more than I ever have
I picked you from the crowded place in my brain that tells me not to make rash decisions
I chose you from the pile of mistakes I had been sweeping to one side
I love you more than I ever have
I didn’t think I could grow to love you more but I’ve surprised myself
The way you’ve surprised me
Reminding me that people can change and that mistakes can be forgiven
And sometimes forgotten
Thank you for forgetting
Thank you for reminding me daily that I’m your favourite flavour of perfect imperfection
Sometimes I pretend I can’t hear you when you talk on the phone to your parents
And you tell them how proud you are of me
But in the other room, I am teary-eyed and feeling so damn lucky
And when you come in I act like I don’t know how sweet you are
Maybe it’s a little game
Maybe it’s self-preservation and keeping my feelings clothed so they don’t feel embarrassed
I love you more than I ever have
I picked you from the wall of beautiful artwork that hangs in my imagination

“accepts what it is” by Julia at her desk


Wednesday February 27, 2013
12:36am
5 minutes
August
Mary Oliver


Okay so I admit, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have let you walk home by yourself. I know you were pissed and that half bottle of wine was doing its thing. But I was mad too. I was so mad at you. I don’t like being blamed for everything you hate in your life. My job is to fix broken pipes in the bathroom, not be your punching bag for when the rest of the world knocks you down. Okay that sounds bad too but that’s not what I meant..baby please. Baby baby baby. Just listen. You’re tough, right? You don’t need me taking care of you. But I should have walked you home. You’re right, okay? It’s not safe at that time of night I was just giving you your space. Just letting you vent. You were walking so fast there was no way I could have caught up to you either. Come on don’t be mad. Please baby: I love you. Don’t cry anymore tonight. But you weren’t being fair. Can you admit that? I’m not perfect but you’re not perfect. That’s a good thing baby. Trust me. In the morning this will all be over. Right now it is what it is okay?