“Chickpeas / tahini” by Julia on her couch

Monday May 1, 2017
5 minutes
from a grocery list

in the event of me being put
in charge to host a dinner
I would air on the side of
garnish with
The music would be chosen with
more stress than should
a fun night
with friends
eventually confident
Golden Oldies
no one can hate the Golden fucking Oldies
and if they arrive early
(and they always do)
there will be a cheese based
plate or chips, or dips, or good
conversation, until
the food I mistimed
is ready to be served
All Oldies All The Time

“Hope for summer heat in Ontario” by Julia on the 511 going North

Tuesday May 20, 2014
5 minutes
The Weather Network

oh there are so many avocado recipes, i’m losing it, i’m losing all my mind fibres! you know, there have been sites dedicated to avocados for a long time now, and i know this, but these recent developments are really something that takes the green things in a whole new level! it’s wild to think you can bake an egg inside of an avocado as if it were a cupcake tray! i love that! my mind bits are seriously exploding and i am going a bit insane wondering when and how and when i can throw a bazillion parties just to make each delectable recipe for my loved ones and theirs! oh my goodness, the summer is really turning quickly into the best time of year for me. it used to be winter, believe it or not, but believe it cause otherwise the story just sort of peters off. it used to be winter because of squash! all squash, so many winter kinds and i got crazy for the soups and the roasted versions. i would have parties at my house all the time, for goodness knows what reason. one time i had people over to watch the Oscars which was fun, and i did a squash themed oscar extravaganza. another time the reason wasn’t as great but people still came over when i invited them for “tupperware exchange” night. any excuse at all to whip out the famous recipes. and this summer is going to be exactly that. i already have a “block party” party and a David Bowie’s greatest tunes tribute night. that one’s going to be a for sure hit. with avocados!

“with/without food” by Julia at Bryan’s cottage

Sunday, July 7, 2013
5 minutes
From the label on the vitamin C bottle

Oh darling, can you help me in the kitchen? We’re hosting a party and I forgot to mention that to you. It’s a little late to be punishing me but if you could chop the mango into cubes that would be helping me out. Oh darling, can you go to the store to pick up garlic and a bottle of Chianti? I know that’s what we need but didn’t know we needed it till now when I’m nowhere near the store and nowhere near ready to leave my kitchen. Oh darling, I’ll make you your special dessert, but can you help me with the living room? I’d love if flowers were in vases and sort of dispersed around the mantle and in the window sills. Lilacs, darling, and daisies if you can pick them for me? Oh thank you. What would I do without you? Tonight we’re having a wonderful party. They’ll all look at us and think, they’re so in love, look how welcoming they made the house together. Wouldn’t that be nice, darling? For them to all look at us with delight and think that?