Sunday June 18, 2017
They Used To Call Me Snow White…But I Drifted
Good girls wear miniskirts and have their hair teased, that was made clear. We were to smoke and choke and snort and suck and smile smile smile. This isn’t a poem, so don’t worry about it. We were welcomed with a weigh-in and then told that if we gained the normal fifteen whatevers we would be out out out on our bodacious asses. Cassandra even said that she knew a girl who knew a girl who did gain the whatevers and they actually did kick her out and she didn’t get her deposit back or anything.
Wednesday July 23, 2014 at MAKE
A Memory Returns
It was my first sip of coffee and I remember thinking it was so bitter I couldn’t see straight. Why anyone would ever drink that stuff was beyond me. I saw all the adults drinking it and they seemed to be having a great time. But I was never interested much in the smell, or the aftertaste, or the colour of teeth it somehow also transformed. I took a second sip to show I was big, I guess. Bigger than I was feeling. I wanted to fit in, I wanted them to stop thinking they needed to spell controversial words around me. I was a very good speller anyway. It just made them look stupid if I’m being honest. I wanted to shout from the tiny kid’s table that felt like it was a mile away from all the fun that I could understand what they were saying; that I could follow along and offer an opinion every now and again if they’d let me. So I took another sip and swallowed down the fuzz that formed on my tongue when I drank the stuff. I could feel my head start to get a bit light and I remember thinking, huh, this stuff isn’t so bad once you get past all the gross parts. Each sip brought me closer to the adults in the room thinking I was beneath them just because I was younger. Each sip made me feel all the more alive.
I still don’t drink it. I thought I might be the type to take it up after all, but I wasn’t. Turns out I didn’t need to do something I didn’t like to make me feel big.
Wednesday January 29, 2014 at Saving Gigi
God Loves Hair
I had to revert my eyes. I had to force myself to think of things that deliberately grossed me out: polenta, mushy polenta, rice pudding, candy corn, creamed corn, any corn, vomit, cat vomit, parsnips, cigarette butts in water, sidewalk hork, discharge, eye gunk on a man, unroasted pig ears, food stuck in a beard. I was worried that if I even enjoyed him for a millisecond I was going to cum. I blame it on not getting my lady mane stroked in over 4 months and the first naked penis to make my acquaintance just so happened to be beautiful and maintained and directly in front of my eyes. Or my vag. It really could have been in front of either.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
The program for 7 Important Things at SummerWorks
She’s gotten into the habit of spitting. It’s a gross one, and she knows it, but somehow it’s stuck and she likes it better than the skin picking. I have to agree with her. The skin picking thing made her look like a meth-head and she swears she’s only done it twice. She just didn’t know what to do with her hands because she was anxious and worked up and all that. Now it’s like she doesn’t know what to do with her words so she keeps spitting onto the ground just to get them out so they’re not stuck inside her skull. Sometimes there’s nothing even to spit out but she grinds her throat together from the inside to make it rough and hurt. Then when she has enough throat juice, she spits it out without waiting to see what’s around her. She did that with the skin picking, only with that she was flicking her scabs and bloody epidermis around with reckless abandon. We’ll see if this is just a phase; just a coping mechanism for the mental break down she swears she only told me about.