“so much past inside my present” by Julia on the Ebus from Chilliwack

Saturday August 24, 2019
5 minutes
Past in Present

I prayed to the sweet in my finger prints,
the gold that has been found in all the touching.
I thanked the god that had done the speaking.
I knelt down to the alter of my former self: Great Teacher.
Oh how I wept.
How there was a deep whisper.
But how loud.
But how I listened.
The gentle nudge of spirit,
the family of cells storing memory in my dreams and letting me remember.
Oh how I remember.
The way a crowd would bring out my inner coward,
how I would ask to start over.
And Teacher Self bathed in love now,
in abundance now, I needed you as you were then.
I needed you exactly as you were.

“with the theme of fear” by Julia at Coco et Olive

Monday November 9, 2015 at Coco et Olive
5 minutes

I am not alone in this room
I share my bed with my former self
And all my past mistakes
I lay my head down on the same pillow as the shame that haunts me
I close my eyes and see the me I never wanted to be
The me I never thought I could be
I am not alone in this lie
Sometimes good people make bad choices
Sometimes bad choices make bad people
I watch the blame hang on every corner of every wall
I wait for it to cling to my eyelids and bind my mind forever
He said she said
She does he does
She regrets he preys
He forgets she stays
I am not alone in this guilt
I share my memories with the poor judgement that follows me
And all the wrong I’ve invited in
To stay a while
To live on inside me

“containing all parts” by Sasha in Nadeem’s room in Mississauga

Sunday, March 31, 2013
5 minutes
the Bonomelli box of Camomile tea

Harry worked for TD Canada Trust in the tallest tower, on the greyest street, in the biggest city. He wore a variation on a pinstripe suit, with a white shirt and a brightly coloured tie. His daughter had said, “Dad, you look like you’re on the greyscale!” So, he’d gone out and purchased a selection of ties – red, yellow, purple, even, pink. He dealt with numbers, larger than life numbers, he sent them, and took them, and traded them, and loved them, and, some days more than others, hated them. Today was one of those days. His doctor had told him to cut down on coffee. He had a two litre carton of orange juice on his desk. His doctor had told him to cut down on sugar, too, and red meat, and gluten, and dairy. He took a swig. He checked how he was doing in his Hockey Pool. A knock at his tinted glass door. “Harry?” Kyle had recently graduated from Harvard. He was twenty-four. He reminded Harry of a previous incarnation of himself, all brains, all smiles, all energy. “I was wondering if it would be okay for me to take Friday off?” Harry looked up, slowly. “Why?” He quickly closed the Hockey Pool window. “I, I, uh…” Kyle blushed. Harry stood up. “I don’t give a shit why. Of course you can. Take Monday, too!” He smiled. He walked out from behind his desk and gave Kyle a hug.