“Get yourself a back brace” by Julia on her couch

Tuesday October 29, 2019
8:52pm
5 minutes
Me Talk Pretty One Day
David Sedaris

giddy up ponies, The Nationals have forced a game 7 in the world series. Martinez gets EJECTED from the game and he is pissed. Trea Turner manages to calm himself down, okay with the help of Cabrera, and then he’s okay, but Martinez needs to air more, needs to release it cause it’s poisoning him and it’s one bad call after another around here.
Get yourself what you need before tomorrow: a back brace, massage, heat therapy. I’m talking about you, I’m talking about Scherzer. This guy wants to pitch in his sleep and you can see it but not so sure about those neck spasms telling him, enough, please, enough.
Rendon is going to sleep like a baby tonight or not at all. That beauty hit, that perfect out, that double, those RBIs?

“FANDEMONIUM” by Sasha at her desk


Tuesday, September 17, 2013
10:42pm
5 minutes
From the front page of the Toronto Metro Wednesday, September 11, 2013

She wanted to swallow the ballpoint pen that the officer was chewing on. She wanted to swallow it and die. Or at least have the sharp parts cut her stomach and have to have a lot of surgery. No one would be yelling at her then.

“Miss Miller, I’m going to need you to co-operate. Being silent is not co-operating.”
“I’m waiting for my lawyer.”
“He’s not going to be coming in today.”
“It’s my right! I thought it was my rights?”
“Let’s try to remain calm – ”
“I am calm.”
“We know that nothing was on purpose. We know that you were texting your Mom that you were on your way. We know that you were late, it was after your curfew, because you’d been at the Christina Aguilera concert…”
“Yeah… That’s all true.”
“Three girls are dead, Miss Miller.”
She looked at the ballpoint pen, now gripped in his hand like a knife.

“If you’re free” by Julia in her backyard


Sunday, June 9, 2013
3:12pm
5 minutes
from a poster at High Park Subway for Ottawa

You wouldn’t be here
You wouldn’t be away at all
You wouldn’t prefer there
You wouldn’t be allowed to
The night is hot and the fan is broken
There’s more of these where those came from
It’s a hyperbole on one side and it means whatever you want it to
You’ll know that you’re dreaming by the tone of voice, the hazy yellow light
You’ll fall asleep into the slumber that won’t change you
Close your eyes now
Let the silence ease you
Are you falling falling, tumbling down?
Do you want to be where I am?
You wouldn’t be here
You wouldn’t be anywhere that’s close at all
You You
You
You
I’ll blow kisses onto your skin to cool you
I’ll tell the wind to speed up so you can slip under
The fan is broken
And the night is hot