“Everyone deals with breakups” by Sasha on her couch

Saturday March 23, 2019
7:15am
5 minutes
Love Running
Joseph Holt

Keri gets her heartbroken again and we roll our eyes because it happens so often, and it always looks the same. Doesn’t feel the same, I’m sure, but from the outside it looks it. She falls in love with some schlub (man posing with fishing rod! Man posing with woman who has been cropped out of photo! Man holding a bow and arrow!) she met on OK Cupid. It’s all, “Ohmygosh, Glenn is the one!” It’s all, “Sorry I can’t hang out tonight, Chris and I do Wing Wednesdays…” We roll our eyes. Okay, Keri. Whatever. When this one breaks your heart we’ll still be here. We’ll take you our for white hot chocolate, we’ll listen as you sob, we’ll let you sleepover and hog the covers.

“Sunset and the city” by Sasha on her couch


Monday October 20, 2014
8:11am
5 minutes
The front cover of a notebook

Aw yeah, I was totally “catfish-ed”, man… I mean, I don’t wanna like, over share or anything, but I totally had my heartbroken. I met this woman online, like three years ago and we talked every night on the MSN Messenger. She said she was in Burnaby, but we worked opposite shifts. She worked at a hospital and I work in a factory so, like, we couldn’t really easily, like meet up, you know? And everyone says, “You were stupid about it,” and I wasn’t, I mean, I felt something for this person. I felt more for her than I felt for my ex of ten years… That’s not even a lie. And, so was Asian right, Chinese and she sent me a picture, like, there wasn’t even a photo on her profile, it was just her words that really got me, and she sent me a picture and I was totally like “Holy shit,” because she was a knockout. And we’d have these five hour conversations, I’d stay up all night, and I was, I was falling in love with her. And then I showed her picture to my friend Tony and Tony is Chinese too and he was like, she looks familiar. And I was like, oh shit! Maybe you know her or something… Turns out the picture was of a pretty famous Chinese actress. You ever heard of Li Bingbing? Yeah…