“whose eyes are a thousand blind windows:” by Sasha on her balcony

Tuesday August 7, 2018
7:30am
5 minutes
Howl
Allen Ginsberg

He’s got a tight face. I wonder about plastic surgery (try not to judge, each to their own, I guess)… He’s expressionless, which is super odd given his job, given that he’s a self-proclaimed actor. I wonder how much he actually works. It might sound awful, but his eyes are hollow, like looking into them is very unsettling. I bet he pulled the wings off flies as a kid. Maybe still does. I bet he googles weird, really weird shit. You know those people who you see and you just know that if you went into their search history it would be worse than a murder show?

“Greet me at the gate” by Sasha at her kitchen table

Tuesday June 26, 2018
7:12am
Green
Nikki Sharp

meet me at the gate with your arms open and lift me up but don’t spin me just get me off the ground and whisper something in my ear that you’ve never said to anyone that you’ve only ever said to me and put me down and look me in the eyes because my eyes have changed since you last really saw me i know you saw me this morning but i’m talking about really seeing really knowing and my eyes are going to tell you how i miss you til i’m sick and dizzy and gorging and my eyes will tell you how i’m not sure if i can take this but my words won’t my words won’t they can’t that’s not how they work

“silent as the folds of the yellow” by Sasha at her kitchen table


Tuesday April 18, 2017
5:40pm
5 minutes
Up
Magaret Atwood


He held me last night while I wept
nimbus and grey “Transitions are hard for you
honey” He said and I denied it and I swept it
under the wool couch pillow that used to belong
to a stranger’s grandmother A stranger mother
haunting the beige and the brown

I looked myself in the eye like I would a
daughter this morning Right there into the
middle into the black
“You can do this, my love,” I said and I
felt the hot water rise again boil again
It had been quite some time since I spoke
to myself with such tenderness

“He always was kinda young looking” by Julia at Valens restaurant


Tuesday, June 9, 2015 at Valens
5:31pm
5 minutes
overheard at the ferry terminal

My brother Reid’s eyelashes were so long they used to get caught in his eyes, like a little cow. He hated how they tangled into each other and refused to grow outward. Because of them he always had red eyes as if they had just been rubbed or showing the effects of recreational substance use. Once this got him in trouble with a police officer who believed his red eyes to be a sign of impaired driving. Reid was embarrassed to admit it was because his eyelashes were so long. That answer doesn’t sound real but I swear to you it is.

“Knowing they can’t touch us” by Julia at her desk


Monday May 11, 2015
12:55am
5 minutes
Breathe Easy
Rachel Sermanni


I called out to an old friend who had come back into my life recently. I called out to her while she still had one foot in my world and one out the door. I wanted her to hear everything before she left.
She turned her head slowly, with an expectant look in her eyes. She could see right through me like I was made of glass. She knew I was in need of her and the way things used to be. Maybe she was in need of me and the way things used to be too. It’s as if in that moment of time-stopping-fears-cast-aside-light-warming-honest-connecting we were transported back to the place where the rain poured everywhere except for directly on us. We were untouchable then and I wanted that again. If not for us, than for me. She was back and here for only moments, maybe not even. She held that daisy chain limp in her hand as if she knew time was a thing one of us imagined some hot afternoon in July.

“saying she is lost” by Sasha at Kafka’s Coffee


Monday, April 27, 2015 at Kafka’s Coffee
6:09pm
5 minutes
from Hopelessly Hoping
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young


Her mouth says she’s lost but her eyes say something else, something in a language where tongues and lips aren’t involved, where it’s goosebumps and eyelashes.

It’s been ten years since she spoke to her sister.

The margarine was left out and now it’s a tub of yellow paint. She wonders about rubbing it on the dry skin on the soles of her feet. She wonders about putting it on the wall in the bathroom – could use a fresh coat of paint.

She cancels her subscription to People magazine because she’s tired of the buzz and the dresses and the pictures of strangers babies.

“your your ene me” by Julia at Jess’ kitchen table


Tuesday January 20, 2015
11:21pm
5 minutes
from Hairspray Queen
Kurt Cobain Journals


You’ve got that “I have to win” look in your eyes.
You don’t know how to not have it. Need to.
Want to.
Get to.
You do.
You’ve got that thing.
And it’s not just a look.
And it’s not just an idea.
It’s a desire, carnal, tangy.
It’s deep down.
Deep deep down-
Ocean blue black, immaculate.
Where you keep all your truths-
Where you let them wear sea pearls and dance together in the dark.
Win it.
Win this.
Fighting to win.
Fighting to fight.
Cause if you lose it-
If you ever give up on that look in your eyes-
The one telling you to rise up and take it
earn it
deserve it
own it-
Then you’ll be dark, midnight waves.
You’ll be deep dark like the hidden-
And imagined.

“not long before you get there with us.” By Sasha at The Arts Club


Saturday November 8, 2014 at The Arts Club
7:41pm
5 minutes
From serialpodcast.org

His eyes are sand
Swirling golden turmeric honey
His eyes are searching
Sky reach twisting to cloud
His eyes tell me how
Why and when and where
His eyes are the reason I come back
Come back and come back and come back
“I want to write a book” he says
I don’t believe it
I shudder and I bite my nail
“I want to write a book about my mother” he says
I stand up and open the window
Even though it’s below zero

“WANTED” By Sasha on the Gulf Islands ferry


Sunday October 12,2014
5:28pm
5 minutes
from a gelato advertisement

Her skin is breaking out and she’s blaming it on the Chinese take-out. “What the fuck, Evan! We need to start eating vegetables!” “There are vegetables in Chow Mein!” Evan doesn’t know what to say. He’s doing his best. She resents his hat, his asshole hat. She resents his bad breath, and his hair loss, and his teeth, and his Facebook habit. “I’m going to get some spinach. We’ll eat spinach every meal of the day, honey…” She gazes at a zit the size of Olympus (to her, to you or I, it’s the size of an ant body). She looks herself in the eyes. Back to the zit. Back to her eyes. It’s a strange thing, gazing in your own eyes. It’s a strange thing, gazing into the eyes of a man you think you know, named Evan, who secretly pulls out his eyelashes and eats them.

“It’s right here” by Sasha at the Fringe Creation Lab


Wednesday December 4, 2013 at the Fringe Creation Lab
5 minutes
1:06pm
an Avision Young ad on a building

I’m gonna paint you a picture of the time you blew my mind
the time you sank my battleship
the time you showed me that there is redemption
and it wears a backwards baseball cap
The picture looks like
You
arriving with indignation
and bad breath
after
being swaddled and rocked
after sucking and biting me dry
shaking your head at the sound of the piano your father’s fingers play
making a stink about the colour of the music
I’m gonna paint you a picture
of what you said



You are the revolution



You are the clock
counting backwards
counting portrait and landscape
counting by letter
painting by number



I look at your chestnut eyes
And I can’t believe I made you

“principle monetary unit of Morocco” by Sasha on the Bathurst streetcar


Monday, October 14, 2013
3:32pm
5 minutes
The Pocket Oxford Dictionary

I arrived wide-eyed
At night
Asking the taxi driver if he knew the town
Knew the people
Knew the ocean
He nodded to all my questions
Which did not reassure me
I arrived wide-eyed
At night
And she met me
My friend
Curls bouncing sweet surf
Smile telling secrets
Eyes twinkling her love for her man
Born in this place
In the dips of Paradise Valley
I woke up the next morning
Hung over with jet lag
And I heard the prayers
Of the men
I heard the voices of the people
Singing to God
And
I thought
“Imagine if we prayed together in the West?”

“changed their marijuana laws” by Julia at R Squared


Tuesday, November 15, 2013 at R Squared
11:51am
5 minutes
A Thousand Dreams
Larry Campbell, Neil Boyd & Lori Culbert


Addison walks through the park with her hood tied tight around her mouth and nose. Her eyeballs poke through and that is all she needs to get by. She tries closing her eyes and extending one or both of her arms to try and lead her through safely without vision. She is mostly unsuccessful. She tells herself she should really study the park better in broad daylight. She should know which path leads to which place and she should know it with her soul, and her legs, and not just her eyes. Addison is meeting someone but she doesn’t know who. She knows it’s going to change her life and make her answer those tough questions she’s been avoiding since she came into this world. She knows that no one else will ever make her learn these things, but she’s willing to go at it on her own. It’s the getting there she’s a bit hesitant about. She reaches up to tighten her hood even more so that only one eye can see out. She walks slowly, absorbing every energy from the ground through her boots as she mushes across the wet grass. She feels inside her sweater pocket for the roach she put in there after almost having to talk to her ex boyfriend, Matt. It’s the only thing that comforts her now, like her teddy bear, Ally, used to when she was very young. Matt wouldn’t have understood anyway.

“she’s obliged to protect you” by Sasha at her desk


Friday, August 9, 2013
11:38pm
5 minutes
Unsafe Convictions
Alison Taylor

MoMo has green eyes that remind of plates one might find in an antique store. When he looks at me, I question things I haven’t ever questioned before, like philosophical stuff, big universe stuff. MoMo has long legs that seem to dangle no matter what he’s doing. He’s got good teeth. The kind of teeth my Bubby would have whispered about. “Look at those teeth…” She would’ve said. He popped too many pimples when he got acne when he was eighteen. There are little potholes in his face. But it adds to his mystery. It dots him with experience. It makes me trust him. He used to roll his own cigarettes but he stopped smoking when his daughter started. They cycle of life. The circle of nicotine and sunsets and diapers.

“I’ve never noticed that before” by Sasha at Knowlton Lake on the dock


Saturday July 27, 2013 at Belly Acres
2:41pm
5 minutes
Napier’s Bones

I’ve never noticed how your left eye is a darker colour than your right. They are both brown, but the left eye, the eye that you close when you’re winking, is darker. You wink at me when you come in in the morning. When you ask if there are any messages. “Bernadette is waiting in the conference room,” I say, putting on my breathy voice, the one that you prefer. Or, I say, “There’s a message from Mr. Galloway. It sounds… urgent.” I whisper urgent so that we have a secret together. Our own thing. You’ve started working on your goatee. You think it makes you look more professional. You didn’t tell me that, with words, you told me with your thoughts. You send me these thought messages. The one time I brought it up, you denied it. We were all out for Halloween beers at Gretzky’s. You were dressed up as Don Draper. Ironic, I thought, or hoped. I was dressed up as The Philadelphia Cream Cheese Angel, because one time you told me that my hair reminded me of her.

“As a last word” by Julia at her desk


Sunday, April 7, 2013
12:04am
5 minutes
How to Shoot a Movie Story
Arthur L. Gaskill and David A. Englander


Well isn’t it weird that he doesn’t look directly at you when he’s talking? Isn’t it..uncomfortable?
No. Honestly. I’ve told you, he has an eye thing.
A what? He has an eye thing?
Yeah that thing that his eye does. Just wanders, it’s not creepy.
But like, where do you look when you speak to him? His forehead?
No you look in his eyes like you do everybody else.
But one is always going on its own little journey. You can’t ever look at both.
I know. You look at the good one. The one that stays.
Do you think it has any feeling in it? Like if you poked it mayb–
Eww. Don’t say shit like that. That’s a human’s eye. It’s an..an eye.
Whatever I’m not into weird eye things. It’s not a turn on for me the way it is for you!
Shut up. He’s a good guy. He’s way better than most guys with both good eyes.

8. Open your closet.” by Julia on her couch


Monday February 11, 2013
11:31pm
5 minutes
The Artist’s Way
Julia Cameron


He was staring into my hairline as opposed to into my eyes. I think he was scared because one is green and the other is yellow like the sun. If he didn’t know how to handle it, I don’t blame him. I still don’t know how to handle it. I keep thinking my left side is possessed by the devil. When I see myself in the mirror I get a little worked up. Anyway he was avoiding my eyes. He was trying to invite me to his event. He was being awarded for something, thought it’d be nice if I could go with him. But I stopped listening and started counting out my outfits. 7. Black dress gold trim makes me look sexy. 8. Black dress black trim makes me look generic. 9, black dress no trim makes me look? Did he even say this was black tie optional? If it’s optional I’ll be wearing jeans. Maybe I’ll ask my hairline. She’ll know better than me.