“Brady and Rix” by Julia at the desk

Saturday July 21, 2018
11:40am
5 minutes
Fever Pitch
Nick Hornby

Brady and Rix are the names of my imaginary kids.
They’re both neutral names but they’re both boys.
I am seeing my life with boys. I am allowed to see
what ever I want. God made me a writer. This is what
that’s for. Dreaming. Going there. Writing stories.
Brady is the older brother. My first. I love him like
an avalanche. Falling over myself every day. Knocked
down by love for the kid who can fit inside my pocket.
He holds my hand and calls me mama. He loves bubbles
and laughing and me. And his dad. He loves his dad so much.
He thinks everything he does is amazing. And everything
he does is amazing. Rix is the baby. He’s very serious.
He looks at everything with curiosity. He wants to know
my soul and does not let go. He is learning with a bit
of discernment. He loves being in the water. He pours
out of me and into things and into light. The whole room
loves him.

“get shared and discovered” by Julia on the 99


Wednesday May 4, 2016
6:19pm
5 minutes
From the back of a pamphlet

Open heart
Yeah
Dreaming something big
Like California
Waiting
Holding on to secret secrets
Yeah
Picking daisies making chains
Grass babies
We are forever of the earth
Got our back packs filled
With beach rocks
And honey sticks
Talking a lot
In the moments between
Silence and acceptance
Fantasizing
About the dreams
Yeah
That will become truths
Yeah
That will become our future
Daughters
In the sand
And we braid each other’s hair
And each other’s heart strings
And we tie knots around the wisdom
That keeps us dreaming big
Yeah
Like California
Yeah

“biking in the rain” by Julia on Kits Beach


Monday April 18, 2016
4:49pm
5 minutes
overheard on Yew

I am
Moving
To a place where
You do not have
To worry
About
Biking
In
The
Rain
Because this place
Doesn’t have
Rain
And this place
Doesn’t have
Bike
Lanes
So crisis averted
And nobody’s hurt
And nobody’s sad
Because their
Favourite
Shirt
Got
Road grit
Splattered
On it
This place where
I’m going
Is far
And is
Wide
And is
Hope
And is
Dream
I will invite
You to meet me
As soon
As
I
Learn
My new
Address
Something like
Sunny Lane
In Sunshine Town
Just at the corner
Of
Rainbow and Sunset
Or I guess
Not Rainbow?
No more
Rainbows?
I didn’t
Think
This
New life
Through
I’ll need
Rainbows

“As a heavy-metal band” by Julia at Platform 7 Coffee Brew Bar


Wednesday March 2, 2016 at Platform 7
2:59pm
5 minutes
The Comic Toolbox
John Vorhaus


I am joining a band!
A Circus!
I don’t care about the big hair part! I just want to eat music for breakfast!
I’m big when I want to be, loud when I’m allowed. I don’t like walls, unless they’re made of sounds.
Mama says
BE CAREFUL
Pa says
DON’T SHOUT
Baby Brae says
AHHH! AHHH!
And I say
YEAH!! YEAH!!
Mama says
YOU MAY BE TOO LITTLE
Pa says
NOT LITTLE ENOUGH!-patting my head, chuckling HA HA
I want to tell them I can be what I want!
I am big like a thunderstorm.
I am loud like a parade!
I am going to sing with my mouth open like this:
( )
( )
Swallowing songs and guitars and applause!
Mama says
BE WHAT YOU WANT!
Pa says
DON’T FORGET US!
Baby Brae says
AHHH! AHHH!
I say
YEAH!! YEAH!!
I am going to see the world!
I am going to be the sky!

“the days are not to slip emptily by” by Julia at her dining table


Tuesday, January 19, 2016
4:57pm
5 minutes
from a quote by Vita Sackville-West

In the early morning when the sky is still dark and only the sounds of faint garbage trucks can be heard from my window, I am viewing the world with eyes made of satin and lace. It’s easy but distant, honest but soft. I love these moments where my mind speaks very little and my soul shifts between asleep and awake, alert and dreaming, alive and hopeful. I lay there in my silent body, noticing the still and focused mystery of dawn, the quiet whisper of newness and readiness joining hands to fuse energies from past and present. My heart is moved by the warmth of limbs thick on perfect fiber, like baby in blanket; like chocolate on tongue.

“Wanna be able to” by Julia on Nicole’s couch


Monday, January 4, 2016
1:46am
5 minutes
Overheard at R2 Cafe

There’s a dream I keep having that feels like a lesson I’m supposed to be learning but it is hard to remember in full detail. I wanna be able to recall all the events but it’s like my subconscious is making it hard for me on purpose. Then I get to wondering why my subconscious would wanna make it take so long for a lesson to be learned if it’s important enough to be learned at all in all this intricacy. This dream is even more difficult to understand because it’s in black and white and none of my dreams are in black and white. How confusing. Sometimes I think this dream could just be for entertainment purposes and I’m really not meant to do anything about it but enjoy it. But then there is a code, or what I think is a code, and new letters are revealed each time, and it’s not very enjoyable as I’m always under a lot of pressure to solve the puzzle with the clues that keep changing and I’m really never able to lay back and just watch. So then I wonder if maybe I’ve already figured it out and the recurring part is just a way for me to check my intel.

“can’t go a day without” by Julia on her bed


Monday March 9, 2015
9:27pm
5 minutes
from a comment on YouTube

thinking about bread
wishing i was better
praying to a god i no longer believe in
touching my hair
remembering
examining my fingernails
snagging my ring on the inside of my jacket
sighing deep and audibly
dreaming about chocolate
playing with my earrings
singing to myself
communicating with my love
apologizing for something
tricking myself into stillness
cracking my back
touching my face
biting my lower lip
smiling
holding space for pain

“Original Spring Source” by Sasha on her couch


Saturday January 25, 2014
4:21pm
5 minutes
Mountain Valley Sparkling Water bottle

In Paris they don’t use the butt side of a knife to stir their tea. They use tiny spoons with Royal Crests on the bottom. When you buy your bread they don’t ask “Whole wheat or white?” There aren’t stupid options like that. Women wear high heels and linen suits and they know how to drink wine. In moderation. No one gets dyed teeth or anything. The Eiffel Tower reminds all of the people to say “Pamplemousse”. In Paris, you would never forget to tell someone that you love them when they’re leaving for the weekend. You wouldn’t only never forget, you’d leave a truffle on their pillow so that when they got home they knew how glad everyone was and how missed they’d been. In Paris, the Queen is just a train ride away.

“over the next couple of weeks” by Sasha at her kitchen table


Monday January 6, 2014
8:24pm
5 minutes
bleubirdblog.com

Over the next couple of weeks I will open a store. Inside that tiny store will be lots of treasures. Wreaths of wildflowers dried in the sun. Preserved apricots with cinnamon and honey. Dill pickles so tart your lips pucker and your eyes smile. Small glass jars filled with homemade vanilla, or lemon essence or tea tree oil. A gold plated frame, about the size of your palm, with a black and white picture of a woman in a wide-brimmed hat. A whole wall of seeds, for planting in the spring. Butternut squash, lacinato kale, romaine, golden beets, rhubarb, wild rose and petunias. Another wall of recipes, each one priced for ten cents. Each one written by hand. A whole bookcase of poetry. E.E. Cummings, Mary Oliver, Hafiz and Naomi Shihab Nye. A husky will sit near the door, but the old, cream-coloured, sighing radiator. He’ll greet everyone who enters with a bark that reminds me of my first love.

“It’s right here” by Julia at Young Centre for the Performing Arts


Wednesday December 4, 2013 at Young Centre for the Performing Arts
5 minutes
12:49pm
an Avision Young ad on a building

Were you lookin’ for me? I won’t allow myself to blush until I know if it’s true. Go on, tell me. I can take it. I’ve developed a tough skin over the years. I gotta say, I would be flattered to a degree of inept expression if I was on your list, so to speak. If you maybe had this vision in your head and I somehow fit the criteria perfectly? I’d be so thrilled, I’m tellin’ you. I’d smile wide like I was lookin’ to catch a camera’s lens without seemin’ too practiced. Does that make sense even? Christ! Here I was thinkin’ I was soundin’ charming or somethin’. Turns out I’m just a regular regular. Not somethin’ worth writin’ home about? Although I could be if you wanted! Nod nod wink wink, if you know what I mean. I could make you wish you never dreamed about yesterday. I could make you wish you had a moment between us forever. Ahh but it’s silly. I probably wasn’t the one you were lookin’ for…

“I’m from a lot of places” by Julia at her desk


Friday November 8, 2013
11:30pm
5 minutes
overheard from a customer at Sambuca Grill

I’ve been to the moon and back! The moon and BACK! I’ve settled for a million white lies painting my bedroom a colour I could stand looking at. I’ve been to the MOON. I’ve dreamed in shapes and numbers and it made sense to me. I’ve found my way through your brain while you’re sleeping and mumbling something about pink hot pants. I went there. I went there and I came back, and every time I come back to whatever back is, it’s different. So I’ve been to a lot of places. I’m from a lot of places, really. I’ve been to the sun and back! The SUN! THE SUN! I’ve filled my belly with worry and words and perfectly dewed grass blades in a park, in a backyard, in a green house. I’ve let my mind wander to find the key to the secret dwellings of the universe. I wouldn’t have gone by myself. I’ve taken good trips and bad trips and told everyone around me that I was going to stay there. They wouldn’t understand but they’d think it was a good idea if I seemed so hell-bent on it. I’ve been to hell and back, to heaven on earth, and heaven in heaven, which though similar, are very different things. I’ve been to here and there, and I’m from everywhere. From the moon, from the sun.

“I dare say you should have” by Julia at her kitchen table


Sunday, September 8, 2013
8:43pm
5 minutes
Chicken Soup for the Golfer’s Soul
Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Jeff Aubrey, Mark & Chrissy Donnelly


I’m not your dream girl, so wake up! That’s what she used to say to me. Wake up! Whenever I would say something stupid or ask a hypothetical question. Wake up! Oh, wake up! That would never happen. And then she’d saunter off into the bedroom and apply copious amounts of shea butter to her knee caps and just mutter to herself over and over again. I’d like to believe that I wasn’t always day-dreaming the way she assumed me to be. I saw her glow around her face, her smile, and I wasn’t dreaming at all. I was trying to take her in, the realness of her, and the realness of my lucky situation to be loved by someone so beautiful. Sher never liked it when I held her up, on what she thought was a pedestal. She didn’t like being up so high; afraid of heights; afraid of falling to her death. It wasn’t that high. But I couldn’t explain that to her even if I tried. I’d tell her I wanted to get married in Hawaii and she’d say that same thing to me again: Oh, wake up! It’s too expensive! Trouble is, she wasn’t dreaming big enough. She’d act like something was impossible without even fully considering it.

“If you’re free” by Julia in her backyard


Sunday, June 9, 2013
3:12pm
5 minutes
from a poster at High Park Subway for Ottawa

You wouldn’t be here
You wouldn’t be away at all
You wouldn’t prefer there
You wouldn’t be allowed to
The night is hot and the fan is broken
There’s more of these where those came from
It’s a hyperbole on one side and it means whatever you want it to
You’ll know that you’re dreaming by the tone of voice, the hazy yellow light
You’ll fall asleep into the slumber that won’t change you
Close your eyes now
Let the silence ease you
Are you falling falling, tumbling down?
Do you want to be where I am?
You wouldn’t be here
You wouldn’t be anywhere that’s close at all
You You
You
You
I’ll blow kisses onto your skin to cool you
I’ll tell the wind to speed up so you can slip under
The fan is broken
And the night is hot