“The internet traded my personality” by Julia at the desk

Saturday April 25, 2020
12:43pm
5 minutes
Vancouver for Beginners
Alex Leslie

I don’t want to mention the INTERNET
but now it’s too late and this is
something I resist so I know the only
option for it is to persist

If I name everything in one shot will
it stop begging to be referenced in
all future proof of living?

I works so hard to prove existence
without discussing the WORLD WIDE WEB
because this web is a bit of trap for
me and I already have issues with going
out into the world beyond my dreams

I guess if I say that this is BLOG
on a WEBSITE that I utilize it will
stop trying to wrestle itself into my
life

I guess if I say that there will be TAGS
referencing the text that I wrote in
CATEGORIES on the right of the SCREEN
that you will know what I’m talking about

I wish you could just read this in a
book like the good old days but how
would you see it or look at it if it’s
a thing you need to hold in your hands?

Does it feel like I’m forcing the mentioning
of the VIRTUAL SPACE because I most
certainly feel the push and I don’t like it
even a little bit

I don’t even have enough INTERNET lingo
to keep this going for five minutes without
stopping and so forgive me if there are not
enough ONES AND ZEROS

“A funeral” by Julia at her desk

Thursday August 8, 2019
10:21pm
5 minutes
Sophocles
Charles Kell

it’s a colour i can’t name
so i don’t bother

it’s not about getting it right
but the proof of you being gone

is louder when there is something
to nestle your name under

once here now not
the categories of today and yesterday

and should have called you more
and should have loved you better

it’s sad because i would have written
a really nice eulogy for you and

i know now i am holding on to that
as if it might have brought you back

right before you’d have to hear me
deliver it in front of everyone

no words can bring you back and i
have to accept that as hard as it is

not mine and not yours and not god’s
or whoever is doing the talking now

at the funeral someone else spoke
and it was fine for someone who

isn’t the colour that you are
the colour that shall not be named

“her sarcastic curl of a smile” By Julia at Ocean Village

Monday February 4, 2019
7:14am
5 minutes
Finders Keepers
Stephen King

It’s the seconds in between two very different things.

Before you decide, you have to know beside which two things you stand. Here, an example, and one for me that I can articulate, could be the same or maybe similar for you.

I stand here and likely always, before a Love choice and Delay choice.

There is nothing cheeky about me saying this now even though you might know me as someone who smirks in her sleep, protecting herself against what is absolute. I mean all of this. No sarcasm. No holy joke.

A Love choice is something that will only add to existing Love, creating more, or creating more opportunities for Love to be made. They are decisions that contribute, heal, help, celebrate, cleanse, trust..

Delay choices are simply the ones made out of fear of the existing love leaving the immediate experience.

“Maximize your chances” by Julia at the Holiday Inn in Charleston


Wednesday April 23, 2014
12:55am
5 minutes
http://www.zerve.com

Wendy had a thing for counting. She counted the stars visible from her bedroom window, she counted the number of steps it was her room to Park’s room, from her room to any room, really, and from the basement to the attic. Even numbers were her favourite. Sometimes she’d count again just to make sure she didn’t count wrong because those odd numbers always seemed so odd. Wendy was also very interested in grouping objects in front of her in categories. She grouped gum wrappers according to life story, bread crumbs, according to size, and pennies according to amount of dirt. She was interested in organizing these things and everything, and Park made it very difficult for her because he had a personality that refused to be contained. Park couldn’t even remember his own birthday. He was a disaster of a 3 year old. Wendy tried to teach him the basics but Park was a bit of an idiot and would just wander off into walls and burst out in hysterical laughter. Wendy never understood why he didn’t just count the steps from the coffee table to the kitchen– That way he wouldn’t have that stupid problem every time of banging into something so clearly avoidable.

“the railway that connects our country” by Julia at Sambuca Grill


Saturday November 30, 2013 at Sambuca Grill
9:07pm
5 minutes
the Local Heroes calendar

Marley has never been on a train. She doesn’t understand simple concepts like “math” or “travel”. She does this thing where she sums up life just like that. Categorizing things in a vague fashion without recognizing how much more goes into it. She tells herself that “the future” is full of pain and that her “feelings” are wrong. Marley started doing this when she was very young. It might have even started as a joke but who knows when the fun of the whole thing ended. Marley is no longer making a joke, but a life comment. An observation of herself that she deems non-disputable. She considers these things to be “facts” and “truths” and “things people notice about her, but just don’t say out loud.” Marley isn’t trying to perpetuate those ideas. She just believes them now because it’s been too long that she’s felt like she didn’t have any other choice.