“what day she was born,” by Julia on her bed

Saturday September 29, 2018
11:18pm
5 minutes
The World’s Oldest Person
Elizabeth Onusko

i’m doing that thing where I’m waiting for the first of the month to come again. permission to be bad until then. permission to be born anew and with readiness.
goodbye bad choices and to a cruel time user.goodbye to avoidance and laziness. goodbye to an empty fridge and full days of not leaving the fridge. and full days of
not leaving the house. and full.

“Bye” by Julia on the 99


Monday, December 21, 2015
11:45pm
5 minutes
Overheard on Gerrard St.

I think I have waited for this moment for my whole life
I was testing myself
I wanted to see if I could wait
Reward myself with the news of my body no longer needing you
The way I had counted off the days, like I was reminding myself of how many days I was sober
Oh it’s been 17 days since we’ve spoken
Oh it’s been 2 months since we’ve seen each other
It’s been 2 years since we’ve kissed
It’s been 15 years since I first saw you
I have been waiting for independence
Waiting to see if I could do this thing on my own
This living thing
Sober and Solitary
The title for my autobiography
But I had to quit you more than I had to quit anything else
Ever
You were that good
There has been a lot of recycled peanut butter jars since
But it’s finally here
The moment of magic peace that feels like truly living
I don’t think about you anymore without warning
I wish you all the happiness
I wish myself all the happiness I’ve refused to let in since you left

“created a tradition” by Sasha on her couch


Tuesday November 13, 2012
10:47pm
5 minutes
from the back of the Calypso record
Harry Belafonte


I’m not sure where you’re going with this whole psychic thing but… I’m not interested. I’d rather let our lives happen without us being privy to what’s about to happen, you know? I respect your love of that stuff, I really do and I get how it’s helped you to know what’s coming… with that prostate cancer stuff with your Dad. I’m just… When I was a kid my Mom had all these dry erase calendars on the walls with our schedules. Every tiny thing was planned down to Wednesday Waffles and Soccer/Ballet on Sundays for my sister and I. It drove me crazy because… it was more about her needing to micro-manage everything than us living our lives and having a good time. Ever since I moved out I’ve wanted to just… be. You know? For a lot of people adulthood is about learning how to plan and prepare and be organized and stuff. For me it’s about just… doing it. Sans calendar. Sans knowing what’s just about to happen, because… we don’t… ever really know.