“such a confusing tableau.” By Sasha at her kitchen table

Tuesday February 5, 2019
8:11am
5 minutes
How To Change Your Mind
Michael Pollan
readying myself for this has become
unclenching my jaw
resting
loving deeply and truthfully
being clear about when it’s
yes
and when it’s
no
my days are a journal entry
a devotion
my mind is losing her sharpness
her edge
my heart is wider than ever
i wonder how you’ll love me
now that i’m new
how the sisters i drunk and
danced with will bear the change
i read in my nest
in the bed where she landed
page after page
gorging on preparation
i drink more water
eat more dates
look for soft things
find soft places in myself
that i wasn’t sure would arrive
they have
i welcome them
oh sweetness
stillness
opening

“I am science.” By Julia at her desk

Thursday October 18, 2018
10:41pm
5 minutes
From a text

I have been reborn so many times
And what is that?
Spirit or dream or science?
Cells regenerating
Rebuilding
Becoming strong
Becoming soft
Who do I thank for the new eyes,
New hands, new voice?
Me?
Do I thank me? Thank me for being here and all the in between?
I am here because of me and yes
I believe that but I believe in
so many things
The power of distance
The strength of a good night’s sleep
A heart ache that takes a year to stop aching
I am nothing and I am time
Infinite tomorrow
And a million yesterdays
I thank time for being here
And for being me
I am everything and I am
Science and spirit and dream

“I don’t want to find myself” by Julia at her kitchen table


Saturday August 16, 2014
4:57pm
5 minutes
a poem by Mary Oliver

I don’t want to find myself with a head full of dandruff and coffee stained teeth. I told myself I wouldn’t start drinking coffee, but then I got addicted. Not to the drink, but to the mugs! God, I feel so stupid. So stupid to get tricked by the mass marketing scheme of cute and quirky coffee mugs! I’m not even joking when I tell you that one of mine has a picture of a cat balancing on a coffee bean with a caption underneath that says “If I can do it, so can you.” It doesn’t even make sense! I guess if you really tear it open, dissect the crap out of it it could. If this cat is balancing on a coffee bean, symbolizing, what? That he or she is being kept up by the coffee alone? Sure, fine, okay, I can understand that. But why does a cat need to get anything done in the first place? Why is a cat balancing on anything at all? It’s hardly realistic. If you replaced a cat with a person, then I’d get the sentiment. And then to be honest, I really wouldn’t need the caption. It sort of says it all: getting things done by staying on the coffee. Fine. Okay. That’s clearer. I just don’t want to find myself one day showing off my coffee cup collection while I neglect to maintain my scalp.