“I’ve been hiding who I am” by Sasha at her desk

Monday February 5, 2018
7:06am
Sisterly Love
Elise Pallagi

I get tired of your texts at twenty to eleven. I want to shut my phone off, but I can’t because I’m addicted. I get tired but I want them, and when they don’t come I’m twitchy and sad. I run a bath and then my phone beeps and I’m up and out of there making puddles across the hardwood. Shit. I’m addicted. You aren’t clever in your seduction. I never thought I’d sink this low. Shit. When did my standards get so low? “I’ll be over in an hour.” It’s like my thumbs have a mind of their own. Good grief. Quarter to midnight and I’ll be riding the elevator up to tenth floor. Your door will be open a crack.

“on which the blues would have sounded” by Julia outside the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam


Tuesday November 18, 2014
4:19pm
5 minutes
from a write up on the photograph Interior by Peter Sakaer

My lungs for you, Amelia, are filled with an intoxicating breath. I inhale you once and I am addicted. I must have you again. I must feel you…
Your nonchalance about this awakens something inside me that I had thought I’d put to sleep. It roars within me. It’s suddenly hungry and ready. I’d happily upset my chest stitches for the chance to please you. Against doctor’s orders to remain still and to avoid heavy instances of “sport”, I will pursue you with my fullest self–mind, body, spirit. And it will require all my dedication but you are worth it. 2 extra weeks in the hospital with despicable food? I can stand it–Nay! I embrace it!

“I don’t want to find myself” by Julia at her kitchen table


Saturday August 16, 2014
4:57pm
5 minutes
a poem by Mary Oliver

I don’t want to find myself with a head full of dandruff and coffee stained teeth. I told myself I wouldn’t start drinking coffee, but then I got addicted. Not to the drink, but to the mugs! God, I feel so stupid. So stupid to get tricked by the mass marketing scheme of cute and quirky coffee mugs! I’m not even joking when I tell you that one of mine has a picture of a cat balancing on a coffee bean with a caption underneath that says “If I can do it, so can you.” It doesn’t even make sense! I guess if you really tear it open, dissect the crap out of it it could. If this cat is balancing on a coffee bean, symbolizing, what? That he or she is being kept up by the coffee alone? Sure, fine, okay, I can understand that. But why does a cat need to get anything done in the first place? Why is a cat balancing on anything at all? It’s hardly realistic. If you replaced a cat with a person, then I’d get the sentiment. And then to be honest, I really wouldn’t need the caption. It sort of says it all: getting things done by staying on the coffee. Fine. Okay. That’s clearer. I just don’t want to find myself one day showing off my coffee cup collection while I neglect to maintain my scalp.