“Perfection will do you in.” By Sasha at Knowlton Lake

Friday April 17, 2020
5 minutes
Perfection, Perfection Father
Kilian McDonnell

I tell my father that I feel the bitterness of failure wrecking ball swinging on the end of a long line
I pace the gravel roads and tears fall onto my coat track marks bird songs the distant whine of an ATV
“I’m doing my best
I don’t know what else to do”
He reaches through the phone line to right where I am
Did you know that this is possible?
The way that I reach back in time
to when my parents’ marriage was ending here in these same ponds
letting go skidding across ice
heartbreak held in the tender privacy of trillium leaves of curling buds
I don’t remember hearing what they said
but I do remember watching them through a slender window
yelling on the small hill where the garden is
“I’m doing my best
I don’t know what else to do”
“One moment at a time”
My father says and he’s right and it’s true “Write down your dreams”
And I do and it’s the gospel of my wholeness “Turn to literature”
Mary Oliver and Rumi
bell hooks and Lorna Crozier