“pillar of fire” by Julia in the fishbowl

Friday January 31, 2020
5 minutes
Night and Moonlight
Henry David Thoreau

I built a structure with five fine pillars
and I was open about which they were
one day I left and I thought I’d tell them
that I was happy knowing they were there

I reached into the purse that held all my
vulnerability and I gave it to them first
before they could steer a different way
and I was speaking from the heart and it
would have been nice to hear but some of
the pillars proved themselves made of fire
when they laughed at my open pumping thing

My first lessons of being brave were met
with angry flames and I was burned first
even though inside I was bursting into
someone I could rely on for a million years
I still fell down into the ashes and held
my own when the whole world crashed

The structure wasn’t built to last with the
strongest ones and I found out the hard way
that buildings take a long time and when
you think you know someone you better ask
again just in case, just in case you use
your hopes to do the hammering

I don’t throw out words like that anymore
these days I keep some things in