“Thinking of you.” By Julia in her bed

Sunday October 14, 2018
10:21pm
5 minutes
From a text

I’m not thinking of you.
I’m not laying in bed eyes closed picturing you.
I am swallowing all my body’s enemies
and all it wants is to release them
I’m not thinking of you.
I’m not scrolling eye rolling not considering you.
I am up to my eyeballs in decisions about me and my own eyeballs.
there is a lot left to know
about everything
about nothing
about silence
but I do not need to know about you.
not checking your latest falling for your taste tests
I’m not tonguing about you.

“Thinking of you.” By Sasha at her kitchen table

Sunday October 14, 2018
5:02pm
5 minutes
From a text

Thinking of you and all that you’re losing.
Thinking of you and all that you might be feeling but haven’t shared and so I have no idea really.
Thinking of you with your quiet joy secret.
Thinking of you and your death.
Thinking of you and the frailty.
Thinking of you who will be born this spring, this spring, this spring.
Thinking of you who knows betrayal like she’s your daughter.
Thinking of all we forget.
Thinking of all we remember.
Thinking of you and how I wish I could call you.
Thinking of you and hoping you’re okay.