“My unexpressed anger at nothing in particular.” by Julia on Jessica’s air mattress


Saturday July 15, 2017
8:33am
5 minutes
No one belongs here more than you.
Miranda July


I throw my phone across the room, breaking the corner and exposing the LCD screen. I am now angry at myself for wrecking a thing I needed. I am always wrecking things I need.
I didn’t want to talk to him this morning in the first place but when he calls my heart double dutches just like it used to so I answer because I am a creature of habit and likely synchronicity.
I don’t know how I choose this terrible mood over all the other moods, but this is the one I’m wearing like a hazmat suit. It’s bulky and oversized and it knocks people over if it gets too close. I even use sarcasm when I can tell I have pierced him. I am nowhere close to okay with that.

“Stanley stepped carefully” by Julia on Jessica’s couch


Friday July 14, 2017
12:20am
5 minutes
from a syllabus

According to his older sister, Starla, stepping on a crack would break their mother’s back.
Stanley stepped carefully.
According to his mother, the only thing that would break her back was if he grew up and decided to be a dentist.
Stanley stepped carefully.
When Stanley was eight and half, he met a girl named Heather and told her he would marry her. She said no unless he learned how to dance first.
Stanley stepped carefully.

“Paragraphs of information” by Julia on Nicole’s balcony


Thursday July 13, 2017
12:15am
5 minutes
from a syllabus

Of course I didn’t ask for the ring with the gold flower when she died. I had wanted it since I was small enough to fit in her arms. But I got something better. When I spritzed her perfume in the bathroom I thought I was getting away with curiosity. Turns out my curiosity was too big to ignore. It was the first time she held me. She brought me out of the bathroom with love while I was embarrassed at being caught. Then she gave me the bottle of perfume I had tried on. Just gave it to me. You like it? Here, it’s yours. I cherished that bottle. I kept it in my closet. I didn’t know anything about her-there wasn’t a book about her, not paragraphs of information written about this woman. But I knew the smell of her young skin. I knew the size of her generosity. I knew the way her quiet was her prison. And how she wished she could have given me more.

“Way bigger than you think.” by Julia on B’s couch


Wednesday July 12, 2017
8:09am
5 minutes
A Ripley’s streetcar ad

A lot of the people here are drinking wine and nobody knows who is already drunk. The streets are packed with bodies brushing up against each other, eating grilled corn on the cob. You’d think it would be a small gathering with a couple vendors here and there selling spoon bracelets but it’s the whole neighborhood. Bonnie built her canopy out of old t-shirts-she saw a friend did that once but with a comforter instead of a tarp.