“Lipstick on your arsehole” by Sasha at her kitchen table


Thursday July 6, 2017
1:06am
5 minutes
Dry Lips Oughta Move To Kapuskasing
Tompaon Highway

Monkey keeps trying to put Bear’s liplip up her bum and Bear’s not havin’ any of that. She just got the lipstick at the Buck or Two and oh wild Willy Bear hates when me or Monkey touches her stuff. One time I was waiting for Bear to get home from work and Monkey was supposed to be napping but she wasn’t and we were going through Bear’s drawers and we found a new bathing suit in there one of those two pieces kinds and and and we took it out and we played with it putting it on our heads and stuff. Monkey tried to take off all her clothes and put it on but Bear came home and yelled and all the fun was over.

“I didn’t want to wait in that line either” by Julia on the plane


Friday July 7, 2017
6:25am
5 minutes
overheard at Vancouver international airport

Dear JT,

It’s almost time to say goodbye. We’ve all been awake since four in the morning on account of a sweaty sleep and a flight to catch. The bed has new sheets but you won’t feel them till next week. I slept without clothes and it was still an inferno. I am almost glad you weren’t there. of course I’d rather see you, and even now as I write this, I regret saying that. I think Emmett will be fine on trip-we got him one of those thingy spinnings? I don’t know what they’re called but I’m sure you’ve heard of them. They’re everywhere.

“Lipstick on your arsehole” by Julia at her desk


Thursday July 6, 2017
11:33pm
5 minutes
Dry Lips Oughta Move To Kapuskasing
Tompaon Highway

Tamara Matthews you better have a good reason why you’re late.
I do, but you definitely don’t want to hear it.
Sounds like an excuse to me.
Alright, my butthole was bleeding this morning and I wasn’t sure if I was going to die or what.
Oh.
Yes. So. It’s fine now thanks for asking. I’m not, as it turns out, dying. I just wiped too hard, you know?
Thank you. I get it.
I mean it’s happened to me before, but less. I thought this was a hemorrhoid which is no picnic because when my ex-boyfriend had one once, sitting down made him cry.
Okay, okay, go sign in.
Will do, sir. Will do.