Tuesday April 25, 2017
Overheard in the kitchen
“And then he came down the stairs and he said, ‘Steph, I have finally solved the mystery.’ I mean, I’d just gotten home, I had no clue there even was a mystery! Turns out, he’d been following Mrs. Drumville for the whole week and some real fishy stuff was going on. She was sending money to Mr. Drumville, even though they supposedly weren’t even speaking, and, she was stealing bouncy balls from the castle at the fair! Steve saw her! He even called her out on it but she completely denied it, saying that she’d gone to the Buck or Two and bought balls of her own! I mean, come on!”
Monday April 24, 2017
From a casting call
His palms are sweaty. He’s pacing the green room. Never liked that term. Never really got what it means. He sips from the disposable water bottle and then play with the cap, screwing and unscrewing. Sip. Unscrew. Screw. Sip. Pace. He hears the applause from the presenter before him and he feels like he needs to pee again. Is there time? There’ll be an introduction, he’s pretty sure someone said that. His tie. Tighten his tie. Put on his jacket. His jacket. Where is his – … Ah, there it is. Unscrew. Sip. Screw. Unscrew. Screw.
Sunday April 23, 2017
From a bus ad
Did you know that there are about one hundred and seventy billion galaxies in our universe? Yup. It’s true. Did you know that the milky way has four hundred billion stars? I KNOW. It’s pretty impossible to even imagine that quantity – … I know that we’re supposed to be doing our long division, but I’m, I’m bored of that and I just started reading a book about – … Okay. Okay. Fine. FINE.