“filled with feeling but generally paralyzed.” By Sasha at her desk


Thursday February 2, 2017
2:09pm
5 minutes
From an interview with Miranda July in LENNY letter

always
filled with feeling
but generally unsure
where to place it

so it lands
in a throat
hides behind
a shoulder blade
cuts through the
softness below
the belly
button

unsure where to
categorize
alphabetize
energize
feeling lands
where we least
expect

in the space
between this
and that
on the coffee
table below
the book
of salvador
dali

so much
is accomplished
in stillness

“there was a rubric” by Sasha at her kitchen table


Wednesday February 1, 2017
9:49pm
5 minutes
From a voice memo

There was a rubric and we were to use it when evaluating patients. Zero meant bad and ten meant good. You’d think that it would be easy, especially after the twelve odd years of training. You’d think that within three minutes of sitting with someone, one would have a sense of, “Oh, this person is closer to a three. That’s for sure!” Or, “A seven. Most likely a seven.” But it is not easy. In fact, it is virtually impossible. And the preceptor wants to know exact numbers, and is satisfied with nothing else. I don’t see patients as exact, in any way! They are ever-changing! They are five hundred shades of grey!

“there was a rubric” by Julia at her dining table


Wednesday February 1, 2017
9:39pm
5 minutes
from a voice memo

He asks if I like it like he wants me to say no. Asking me at all automatically gets a no. Am I not showing you? Am I not putting my whole thing into it? I want to tell him that “no” I don’t, but keep making these sounds and see if he is listening to my mouth or to my body. If he were he wouldn’t have to ask–as if there’s some kind of rubric for me to fill out: The student was sufficient. The student was timid. The student showcased strong grasp of concepts. The student handed in his assignment early but did not get extra marks because, though he finished, it wasn’t done to the best of his ability.