Wednesday, July 29, 2015
The butter isn’t cold enough. Your Mom is reading Oprah’s magazine (a Christmas issue from 2011) on the couch and I call to her, “This’ll only take about ten minutes!” There’s no way I’ve fooled her. No way. I’ve got all the ingredients lined up on the counter. You and your father will return in approximately forty five minutes from fishing and expect lunch. I made it sound like baking a pie was no biggie but, truth be told, it’s a huge biggie, the biggest biggie. I’ve never made a pie. That’s a lie. I’ve made a pie, what idiot hasn’t made a pie? I’ve never made a crust.
Why must the butter be cold, you ask? While I’m not a profesh baker, I am a profesh scientist. Not really. We use cold butter because butter is made of yummy fats and water. When the pie goes into that sexy preheated oven the water evaporates quickly and creates that sweet-dreams-are-made-of-this flaky pie crust.