“The big mystery” by Sasha on the Queen Streetcar

Thursday May 1, 2014
5 minutes
The Q Podcast

When my brother, Wallace, told me that he was getting the whole family together for breakfast because he had something to tell us, I never coulda guessed. I mean, he’s a strange guy, like, he refuses to wear socks, for example, and he really likes My Little Pony. But, I love him. A lot. And he does wonderful things like make peach cobbler every Sunday and he speaks five languages pretty darn well (French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and Mandarin). He’s crazy smart, like, probably the smartest person you’ve ever met. So, Tasha comes in from the city and Mom and Vince are drinking their coffee, and Lucie forgets and so I go and wake her up. Wallace went and got pastries from the bakery. He doesn’t even look nervous. He looks calm. Once we all settle he says, “I gathered you all here today because I have some important news for you. I think I’ve mentioned my girlfriend Mary, who I met online? Well, we’re getting married – ” And then Mom says, “You’ve never even met her, Wallace!” And Vince says, “Wally, just take it one step at a time – ” And then before I can even get a bite of my blueberry danish, we hear a pitter patter of feet down the stairs and there she is. Mary.