Friday February 14, 2014
A subscription letter from Bon Appetit
All Alfie wanted was a birthday party with helium balloons that he could suck on after everyone had left. He would record himself reading sonnets with that high-pitched duck-y voice. “I’ll mail out invitations and everything,” he thought to himself. And he did just that. He bought special blue paper at the art store and cut out hearts. He carefully wrote each persons name. He was inviting John, Sean and Terry from the office. He was inviting Kofi, the barista from the coffee shop on the ground floor of the building that housed the office. He was inviting Kathy, Vanessa and Penelope from his meditation class at the YWCA. He didn’t know anyone’s address so he planned to deliver each invitation by hand. That thought made him a bit sweaty.
Thursday February 13, 2014 at Tsaa Tea Shop
Edgar Allan Poe
We used to love with a love that was more than a love, more than a sticky note on the bathroom mirror saying “I love you”. We used to leave treasure hunts through our bachelor apartment, tiny, intricate searches. When I would arrive home I’d find rhyming poems leading me towards a chocolate truffle sitting on the bookshelf or a small sachet of smoked paprika in the medicine cabinet. We used to buy weed from our uptight neighbour, always in a sweater vest, always listening to Leonard Cohen. We used to search the sell-off vacations website for something under three hundred dollars.
Wednesday February 12, 2014
the bag of ketchup chips
When you get here, you’re trying to stay positive. You think that maybe you’re going to find yourself, or God, or at least a love for push-ups. You don’t think about the cravings – for your mother’s Jerk Chicken, for your wife’s blow jobs, for a ride on an empty subway. My first night in, Mickey tried to take me under his wing, tried to show my the ropes… or whatever. I told him to “back off” and he did. Must have been the tone of voice I used because I don’t swear or anything. Second night in, Joaquin watched me for awhile and then said, “I heard you’re a teacher. You wanna teach my somethin’ nice?” I told him if he wanted to brush up on fractions, sure. Everything else was off of the table. First visiting day, my wife brought me a note from one of my students. It said, “I hope you’re having a nice sabbatical in The Dominican. We really miss you.”