“Is there sauce on that?” by Julia at her kitchen table

Sunday, June 30, 2013
5 minutes
Overheard by Julia on Queen Street

I’ve got one condition, and that is, ice cream. From now until forever, Amen, I will require ice cream if I am to also allow other things, like excessive single coughing, or the refusal of washing your hands after you use the bathroom. I think that is a reasonable request, and you should be so lucky that all I need is a frozen and delicious snack and not some beautiful diamond, or a monthly subscription to the J Crew catalogue. I can get by on so little, did you know that? I’ve always been really resourceful with my living. Small things make me happy, like vanilla icing on peanut butter cupcakes. Or finally pulling out an overdue ingrown hair somewhere south of the border when you thought you were just going to keep breaking the skin every day for no reason because, goddammit, there was never enough to grab on to. I don’t need a car, or an envelope filled with cash…I mean, I’ll take it, never turn it down, use it, love it, but need it? No. I have eaten Kraft Dinner before. I know what it means to settle in life. So. That’s why I know what I need and I’m not ashamed to say it.