“an ad for a farm” by Julia in her living room

Sunday September 30, 2012
5 minutes
The First Year
Karen Vogel

never wanted my dad to kick anyone’s ass on behalf of me.
seriously, i couldn’t handle even the idea because i got too embarrassed.
i never wanted to be seen as the type that makes a big deal out of every thing. if someone wronged me, i would rather just not tell anyone in case the person who wronged me got mad at me. what a crippling little fear that i have. once when my dad and i were in a movie store, looking for something to rent. i don’t know why but i felt very strange and i didn’t want to be there. i started to cry because i was embarrassed by what i was wearing and that my dad kept making these lame jokes, but my dad thought it was something else…that i was scared of the movie store and that i didn’t feel safe…because he was trying to defend me. my dad then took me in his arms and hugged me tight saying, “i’ll protect you. you never have to worry because i won’t let anything bad happen to you.” it was very sweet but it was also very weird. of course i felt safe. but i was also young and stupid so when he started to get emotional, so did i, and i pretended like what i had said earlier was true. i believed it when he said he would protect me. it was the most affection he’s ever shown me, so for that reason alone that memory might be one of my favourites.