“And a passport.” by Julia at R Squared Cafe

Monday, February 27, 2012 at R Squared Cafe
5 minutes
Far to Go
Alison Pick

Shannon asked me to borrow my passport before she went away to Florida. I swear to God she is the dumbest person I let myself associate with. I was like, “Shan, do you even know what a passport is?” Because obviously if she’s asking for mine, she’s never seen one in her entire life of being the dumbest person I know. She was like, “Jill, don’t be so rude! You know I do.” I was like, “Okay, do you think it’s a good idea that you steal my identity while trying to get into another country?” And she was like, “I’m not stealing; mine’s just not ready yet.”

God. It’s one thing lending your friend your driver’s license because you still have both your G1 and your G2 cards illegally. You can give your friend the G1 if she’s like, underage. That’s what we did in highschool when Sarah couldn’t get into any bars in Montreal because she was still 17 and hating her december birthday. Mind you, that one’s not easy either. She went before me, the bouncer looked at it, clearly didn’t care it looked nothing like her, then I went, gave him MY card, and he paused for what felt like 10 minutes analysing it. Finally he said, “I feel like I’ve seen this before,” and he was so skeptical. I was like, “yeah, well if you are ACTUALLY looking at it, IT IS ME. THAT’S MY HAIR.” And sarah was just laughing and already shooting her first tequila back with a guy named Pierre (or at least that’s what he said).

I told Shannon that if she was being serious I would let her borrow it as long as she didn’t turn me into a felon, and you know what she said?
“What’s a felon?”