“almost all the time” by Julia at her desk

Thursday, November 24, 2011
5 minutes
Crime and Punishment
Fyodor Dostoevsky

Lady bugs should be banished from summer time activities. And baby carrots. I say, “who needs ’em!” Never made me a better person. Never made me want to be a better person. All they’ve ever done is gotten me angry. Because they pee on you when you’re trying to love them and it smells so much like battery acid that the loving just flies right out the window. And baby carrots? They’re assholes. They’re not even grown that way! They’re really just large carrots shaved down into small shapes and that really bothers me. They think they’re elite, and post-modern? They can suck it. If I want to dip something orange into a creamy delicious spread, I’ll use a whole carrot, and I’ll bite it to make it small. Lady bugs and baby carrots can go fuck themselves. They’re party ruiners, they’re uninvited mostly, and they just show up and try to control everything and then when they don’t get their way they become so petty and start trying to bring everyone down because they’re too insecure to just own that they’ve fucked up and didn’t know themselves well enough to make the party more enjoyable without trying so fucking hard.

Anna and Joanie? What does this have to do with them?