“I look at the sky recalling” by Julia at MAKE coffee+stuff

Wednesday July 23, 2014 at MAKE
5 minutes
A Memory Returns
Bobby Ferguson

It was my first sip of coffee and I remember thinking it was so bitter I couldn’t see straight. Why anyone would ever drink that stuff was beyond me. I saw all the adults drinking it and they seemed to be having a great time. But I was never interested much in the smell, or the aftertaste, or the colour of teeth it somehow also transformed. I took a second sip to show I was big, I guess. Bigger than I was feeling. I wanted to fit in, I wanted them to stop thinking they needed to spell controversial words around me. I was a very good speller anyway. It just made them look stupid if I’m being honest. I wanted to shout from the tiny kid’s table that felt like it was a mile away from all the fun that I could understand what they were saying; that I could follow along and offer an opinion every now and again if they’d let me. So I took another sip and swallowed down the fuzz that formed on my tongue when I drank the stuff. I could feel my head start to get a bit light and I remember thinking, huh, this stuff isn’t so bad once you get past all the gross parts. Each sip brought me closer to the adults in the room thinking I was beneath them just because I was younger. Each sip made me feel all the more alive.
I still don’t drink it. I thought I might be the type to take it up after all, but I wasn’t. Turns out I didn’t need to do something I didn’t like to make me feel big.

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“I’ve breathed the mountain air” by Julia on her couch

Tuesday, July 22, 2014
5 minutes
I’ve Been Everywhere
Hank Snow

I’ve been so angry. I have been, it’s been a mercury is rising sort of thing, and I swear, that if the real me doesn’t happen, I’ll be your worst nightmare. I’ve been that way. Blinded sight, twisted light, couldn’t write that way. Where the only thing that calms me is the fight, that way. I couldn’t control it, I wouldn’t, shouldn’t, didn’t but I sold it. And it’s too late to try and get on its level just to scold it. It’s out of me and gone, the anger, the angry, the anger, the angry, the anger in me. That one we’ve seen. That thing I’ve been.

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“That’s very interesting” by Julia on her couch

Monday, July 21, 2014
5 minutes
Overheard at ideal coffee

She was a mad hatter
her feelings didn’t matter
she was a mad a mad a
and when she danced
the world was romanced
but she didn’t believe it yet
her feelings didn’t matter
she was a mad hatter
a mad, a mad was, a mad was
He always did stray
When she looked the other way
His mask a good looking one
And they would talk
But not have much to say
their costume a convincing one
She was a batter
her feelings didn’t matter
she was a bat a bat a
And when she sang
The whole world came
but she didn’t know how to believe it yet
He always did lie
It was his alibi:
He really just enjoyed telling it.

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“That’s very interesting” by Sasha at ideal coffee

Monday, July 21, 2014
4:23pm at ideal coffee
5 minutes
Overheard at ideal coffee

“That’s very interesting” is Charles’ favourite thing to say. It’s his go to. I call him on it. “I have no idea what you mean when you say that, Charles! “Interesting” has to be the least descriptive word that there is!” He smiles, like he knows something that I don’t. “You’re overcomplicating it, honey,” he says. When Charles and I first met, I thought he was an asshole. That’s usually how it goes with the men I date. When I meet them I think that they’re assholes and then something flips and I’m in love. I’m not in love with Charles, but he fascinates me. He’s my Toronto boyfriend. I have Ken in Hamilton. It’s nice. It helps me focus. Ken doesn’t, the sex does. I should be specific about that. “Get specific!” says Ken, biting my toes. Charles weighs about double Ken, but Ken is taller. It balances out.

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“The Psych Ward” by Sasha on the Queen Streetcar going East

Sunday, July 20, 2014
5 minutes
from a Winnipeg Fringe Festival Program

When I made it to the edge I let me legs flop over.
It was a far drop down.
It was a far drop down.
When I made it to the edge I imagined jumping…
But I didn’t.
Don’t worry.
I didn’t.
The sun was starting to set,
which is always a magical time,
which is always when I don’t feel lonely.

When I sit there at the edge,
I am tired.
I am tired from a lifetime of wishing I was someone that I’m not.
Do you do that too?
I am a master of pretending.
I am a master of trying too hard.
I’m a professional poser.
And now,
I’m sitting at the edge and I’m wondering.
I’m leaning too far forward,
Catching myself…
Leaning back.

I am at the edge,
I am looking over and seeing clouds, mountains, seagull wings, whispers of the changing seasons, phone numbers, mailboxes, a jeep, my mother’s engagement ring.

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“No, that was so wide!” by Sasha on her couch

Saturday, July 19, 2014
5 minutes
overheard a Grand Beach

No! It was this big, Mama! It was really this huge! Franklin, stop it! That’s how big it was! I’m the one that held it so you don’t even know! FRANKLIN SHUT UP! I’m telling Mama. MAMA! FRANKLIN! Mama! Franklin is saying that I didn’t know how big the kitten was! That is was smaller! It was a Maine Coon cat! That’s what Aunty said! A Maine Coon! They’re the size of a dog! Even when they’re babies! That’s the truth. Mama? Listen to me! I’m talking to you! Can we can a Maine Coon? Papa won’t even notice that it’s not a dog. He won’t sneeze or have itchy eyes or anything.

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“YOU A LIAR” by Sasha in her garden

Friday, July 18, 2014
5 minutes
overheard on queen st west

You a liar, Steve! You a friggen liar! I’m tired of it! Not like it’s big lies all the time! It’s the lil’ ones that are the worst! All the damn friggen time! An’ I see it, you know. I see it on your face! Like a sign. Like a sign saying “I’M LYIN’!” I think about how you really don’t deserve a friend like me, Steve. I’m “enabling” you. That’s what Jenni says. She says every time I let you use my ID and borrow my car and take Huckle for a walk that I’m basically enabling you. An’… I think she jus’ might be right! I wish she weren’! I wish it! We known eachother a long time, Steve, an’ I put up with a lotta what you do in this life. I think I’ve had it. I think we need to take a bitta space from being friends, Steve. I think you shouldn’ come fishin’. I think you should jus’ stay here and think about how you can be a better guy.

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